78kg " - " For eating just breakfast and goji plus something sweet, not much drop, but I feel I have to cut sweets so today I try to keep cleaning myself, but no sweets today!
I slept well and dreamless - Im a bit surprised after what happened yesterday, but probably my system needed to get together. I feel much better today, even I still have feelings like my brain is more active then before matura exam. In the morning after some waking up at comp up for morning exercises.
I) Starting today with 5 minutes warm up (10x Sun Salutations, Shadowboxing) I did ABS training with gymnastic ball - very rich today, I know I write it every day, but it really is! When I feel my ABS are not used on 100% I made exercise harder, I want to have 6 pack one day and also strong core, I feel like power of a man lies really in this area and without strong core I cant keep going further on my path.
Then I was dancing for about 30 minutes, enjoying it very, very much, mainly free dance which developed slowly into beautiful dance of creativity and joy. I was drenched, but I even shouted out of joy at some moments, how great it was. I got very nice random set today and Im grateful for it, after yesterday transformation process, or what it was, I felt like I deserve such a joy and I drunk from this chalice as deep as I could.
I wasnt doing anything exercise-wise for the rest of the day, I just visited friends and went to cinema after long time. Oh may, those retards with popcorn in cinema makes me so crazy. I was even loud about it when I saw it "lets go away from those retards with popcorn, its unbelievable". It also reminded me why I stopped coming to cinema - in the moment when I realized, that I have less and less from movie and more and more distractions all the time from popcorn-eaters. Anyway - movie was a bit of disapointment, Lone Ranger was the title. Johny Depp was great and special effects awesome, but they really made it for retarded audience or I dont know, couple of so silly things, that mildly intelligent person must just blink in disbelieve.
Else whole day went in the name of clearly overcharged 3rd chakra - when I encountered some stupidity I could not detach from it and have patience and understanding. I could not control it. I was also very judgemental, not hate or disgust to my targets, just judgement. I also felt like my brain is till working on 200% and not stopping or slowing down, very smoothly, only my head hurts a bit even I drink a lot. I was so afraid to do yoga today, that I simply did not, I was grasped by fear "what could happen". I believe it settles down a bit with time, but right today I feel like I would go simply mad and would spend rest of my life in madhouse.
Anyway - today was very good day, Im happy I can so clearly see my patterns, even I cant control them yet, I was and mainly COULD already practicing to control them and do more what I want. I was also happy to see, that I seem better to let grudge dissolve and leave me. to be honest, mainly because I have so strong grudge towards one guy, that its like rotting apple inside me, Im working with it last couple of days, it showed up first time 2 days ago during yoga when I was doing Praying pose for 4th chakra (heart chakra). I was surprised that this occured and I felt so deep hate to this person. Im exploring what it is, what is evoking this hate. Im oscilating between this feeling and being grateful to this person to show me that this is inside me, That this hate source lives very rich and vital life inside me. I think I feed it somehow but so far I cant find or grasp it. I think Im envy of this guy for his money, that he has all the informations and sources to use them for something meaningful but he waste them just to show up mainly. And at the same time I know that its not true! Its so crazy situation. But its good to write about it, makes my feelings to show up a bit more clear.
Ohm mani padme hum.
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