79,6kg - good, seems something is finally happening in my system, that weight moves
I slept v.well and deep tonight and don't remember any dreams. However, I realized one thing - that if I'm half sleeping, half awake and my mind is working, my thoughts are getting physical form in my imagination... is this dreaming? I'm not sure, because its my conscious thoughts which creates these images in half-sleep state, but what are dreams anyway? Aren't dreams visual manifestation of thoughts (conscious or not) which are projected into that part of psyche, where we imagine things? Interesting thought for morning.
But anyhow - in the morning straight for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations.. which end up being 11 minutes, because I was so slow in the beginning that I could not finish holds from 1-5 seconds in 10minute frame! But it was great, it was so obvious how is body being stretched and moved and unfrozen from sleep and stiffness. Great start of the day.
I continued then with 9 minutes of ABS and core practices... it was funny. In the beginning I felt like "Great, it feels my ABS used rest and now its strong as never!" and I started doing hard exercises and after 7 minutes I was like "Omg, I cant do ANYTHING at all!" so yeah, last 2 minutes I was praying for alarm, because I could not find part of my belly muscles which could do something...
Well, for rest of morning exercise I was dancing - for about 25 minutes. Today one style YouTube mix of electronic jazz. It was fun, for today I don't have other word - it was fun :)
Well, I could not muster myself into anything "good to do" for whole day... I felt so strong resistance to do anything meaningful...
I) I just had client in the evening. New client and it was v.nice meeting I must say.
Wuf..., I so don't know what to write about today else then I already wrote. It was nice day, exactly what I needed...
pondělí 30. září 2013
29.9.2013 - healing and pulling together
?? Weight. I tried morning exercises, but my legs hurted so much, that I couldn't. And somehow flew on surface memory where I did not took rest after another difficult hike in the past and that it started my burnout years ago. So I took it as good opportunity to take a rest today from heavy exercises.
I feel like needing so much rest lately. I try to be really conscious about it and not fall into passivity or some energetic mud. I know it can crawl in very sneaky way, but I don't feel like depressed or something, just coming trough deep things. I feel grateful, that I can have this space as I have it, v.grateful.
I) What I did today was yoga session. "second" set - I alternate each session between 2 sets of asanas ATM. Today it was again v.strong. Another day in the adventure called yoga, after yesterday trip I could not do properly bridge (for example), but at the same time, it wasn't worthless, because I could feel different parts of my body about which I wasn't so conscious about. I feel this exploration v.important, it gives me conscious about my body and as I feel it - more conscious about body means more conscious about my life. Yoga is best tool I know in this way. Today session was in general... I cant even say, I felt lot of resistance to what is happening in me, My mind tried hard to find perfect reasons why I should stop doing it... I don't know if I overdo stuff or not, how can I know?! From my experience - only way to find out that something is too much is to crash or fall. Well, I hope I wont crash too hard this time, like in mad house or somewhere. I feel crazy enough already.
Rest of the day I spend with watching movies I wanted to watch for long time, resting, and doing lots of small things which keep coming all the time and are very fast heaping up.
What was v.strong for me today was one video I saw, its this: To this day . This short video touched me so deep. So deep cut I wouldn't believe its possible. It brought up all sorts of old shit from school times and showed me lots of old pains. When I saw it I was just crying without even knowing why this poem touches me so much, it was just there. For me it means, that it hit very deep and big nail in my being and yeah... even I don't feel I need more load ATM, I feel I have to deal with this stuff as well. I'm grateful for my friends and my beloved, not for their advices, but for their support, that they don't leave me when I feel these strong "unmanly" emotions... Today was a lot about topics from this poem and I feel its something so important for me, I wont forget it so quick.
Ohm mani padme hum.
I feel like needing so much rest lately. I try to be really conscious about it and not fall into passivity or some energetic mud. I know it can crawl in very sneaky way, but I don't feel like depressed or something, just coming trough deep things. I feel grateful, that I can have this space as I have it, v.grateful.
I) What I did today was yoga session. "second" set - I alternate each session between 2 sets of asanas ATM. Today it was again v.strong. Another day in the adventure called yoga, after yesterday trip I could not do properly bridge (for example), but at the same time, it wasn't worthless, because I could feel different parts of my body about which I wasn't so conscious about. I feel this exploration v.important, it gives me conscious about my body and as I feel it - more conscious about body means more conscious about my life. Yoga is best tool I know in this way. Today session was in general... I cant even say, I felt lot of resistance to what is happening in me, My mind tried hard to find perfect reasons why I should stop doing it... I don't know if I overdo stuff or not, how can I know?! From my experience - only way to find out that something is too much is to crash or fall. Well, I hope I wont crash too hard this time, like in mad house or somewhere. I feel crazy enough already.
Rest of the day I spend with watching movies I wanted to watch for long time, resting, and doing lots of small things which keep coming all the time and are very fast heaping up.
What was v.strong for me today was one video I saw, its this: To this day . This short video touched me so deep. So deep cut I wouldn't believe its possible. It brought up all sorts of old shit from school times and showed me lots of old pains. When I saw it I was just crying without even knowing why this poem touches me so much, it was just there. For me it means, that it hit very deep and big nail in my being and yeah... even I don't feel I need more load ATM, I feel I have to deal with this stuff as well. I'm grateful for my friends and my beloved, not for their advices, but for their support, that they don't leave me when I feel these strong "unmanly" emotions... Today was a lot about topics from this poem and I feel its something so important for me, I wont forget it so quick.
Ohm mani padme hum.
sobota 28. září 2013
28.9.2013 - half workshop and wonderful hike
80,3 " = " Seems my scale is stuck on this weight for a change :D No, I know its not stuck, but its interesting this not changing weight.
I slept again deep and well without dreams tonight. In the morning to half morning exercise, I hadn't enough time to do whole set.
I) Starting with 5 minutes warm up. 6x new way SS, running with stretching and shadowboxing. Its so strong these 5 minutes! Incredible how I can get exhausted in just 5 minutes!
Then I did pyramid from 13, I made all reps without failures, even it was quite tough at 9-7 reps as usually. And then again up to 5. Still don't feel fit for starting from 14 yet. Even I feel myself v.strong ATM. Stronger then when i was doing pyramid from 14. Its interesting. I'm not seeing through this totally.
After pyramid I did 5 minutes of core and ABS training, mainly holds of all forms and more difficult static positions. It was v.rich for 5 minutes again...
Last I was dancing for 10 minutes. Its not much, but better then nothing. It was v.nice and joyful/playful :)
II) In the morning I did 3 hours on workshop. I had to cancel both workshops this weekend, because on last minute lots of people booked off. I felt it as good lesson that I have to be a bit more progressive in getting money beforehand, first to be sure I can pay rent for room and second it helps people to overcome resistance and come. But even those 3 hours were fine, we was doing contact improvisation and massage.
III) Afterwards we all who come for a workshop went for a lunch and afterwards for lovely hike into nearby woods and wonderful view. Whole trip was really v.beautiful, nature in that area is just amazing, but one big part of a trip led us on a spine of a hill which looked like ancient rim of volcano with lots of big rocks on very top through which the pathway led. Going through there required lot of easy climbing and careful steps, but I enjoyed it extremely, it was so fun and on every meter we were gifted by amazing view either pathway itself or surroundings. Extraordinary experience. Besides all this gifts, on personal level, it was v.valuable for me, because I spend almost whole week in my room, working on myself, or clients and it was nice to be in nature. Even this fresh air is for my city boy lungs strong stuff! And also company was more then nice. Simply - great afternoon! Whole trip was like almost 4 hours of hiking, v.good training for me :)
Now is evening and I'm writing blog, tired, but feeling important to catch up on blog a bit. I must say, its starting to tire me down a bit to write this blog. I have basically responses whatsoever and even its good to have diary, I cant write everything here because personal and professional reasons so in some ways its not sufficient diary. But I want to hold till the end of the year and ten lets see.
If anybody is reading my blog from time to time, it would be nice if you give me some feedback - cheers!
Well, summary of today - completely unpredictable since morning to evening, that's how I feel it right, love it :) Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept again deep and well without dreams tonight. In the morning to half morning exercise, I hadn't enough time to do whole set.
I) Starting with 5 minutes warm up. 6x new way SS, running with stretching and shadowboxing. Its so strong these 5 minutes! Incredible how I can get exhausted in just 5 minutes!
Then I did pyramid from 13, I made all reps without failures, even it was quite tough at 9-7 reps as usually. And then again up to 5. Still don't feel fit for starting from 14 yet. Even I feel myself v.strong ATM. Stronger then when i was doing pyramid from 14. Its interesting. I'm not seeing through this totally.
After pyramid I did 5 minutes of core and ABS training, mainly holds of all forms and more difficult static positions. It was v.rich for 5 minutes again...
Last I was dancing for 10 minutes. Its not much, but better then nothing. It was v.nice and joyful/playful :)
II) In the morning I did 3 hours on workshop. I had to cancel both workshops this weekend, because on last minute lots of people booked off. I felt it as good lesson that I have to be a bit more progressive in getting money beforehand, first to be sure I can pay rent for room and second it helps people to overcome resistance and come. But even those 3 hours were fine, we was doing contact improvisation and massage.
III) Afterwards we all who come for a workshop went for a lunch and afterwards for lovely hike into nearby woods and wonderful view. Whole trip was really v.beautiful, nature in that area is just amazing, but one big part of a trip led us on a spine of a hill which looked like ancient rim of volcano with lots of big rocks on very top through which the pathway led. Going through there required lot of easy climbing and careful steps, but I enjoyed it extremely, it was so fun and on every meter we were gifted by amazing view either pathway itself or surroundings. Extraordinary experience. Besides all this gifts, on personal level, it was v.valuable for me, because I spend almost whole week in my room, working on myself, or clients and it was nice to be in nature. Even this fresh air is for my city boy lungs strong stuff! And also company was more then nice. Simply - great afternoon! Whole trip was like almost 4 hours of hiking, v.good training for me :)
Now is evening and I'm writing blog, tired, but feeling important to catch up on blog a bit. I must say, its starting to tire me down a bit to write this blog. I have basically responses whatsoever and even its good to have diary, I cant write everything here because personal and professional reasons so in some ways its not sufficient diary. But I want to hold till the end of the year and ten lets see.
If anybody is reading my blog from time to time, it would be nice if you give me some feedback - cheers!
Well, summary of today - completely unpredictable since morning to evening, that's how I feel it right, love it :) Ohm mani padme hum.
27.9.2013 - praparation for workshop and more practices
80,3kg - " + " lot more then I expected, but anyway, that's how it is
I slept well and deep tonight and don't remember any dreams. In the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) Starting today with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations. longer holds in each rep, from 1-5 seconds in each rep on both sides. Great stretching and warm up as well, because I'm not so limited by new moves (by unfamiliar feelings in body while doing new movements).
Next I did 5 minutes of running and shadowboxing, I did same setup as 2 days ago, but this time shadowboxing first. It proved as right decision. It feels better to do exercises where I need stamina/power/agility before more strength-focused ones. I did also strike and kick practice rounds.
After shadowboxing I continued with Burpees, this time I did 40 of them in 5 minutes. But I felt it good somehow, I was fuming and sweating a lot, but anyway I feel its not so bad, I felt strong while doing those 40 reps, even when I felt where I can be faster. I felt I also do reps v.precisely.
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core exercises. Starting with 4 rounds of TM core WO, after previous blocks I felt its bit on the edge, but that's it - no edge, no progress. I almost could not do anything after those 4 rounds so again - I did anything I could and end up with feeling that I could not do more from moment Im right now at.
Last about 15 minutes I was dancing. After previous exercises it wasn't easy, mainly because of painful middle part, well, not so painful, more stiff and I felt my middle part as shrunk somehow. But I could dance even in this state quite fine in the way of joy and fun :)
II) Later in the morning I had a client, fine treatment, interesting client. I was happy that I could listen to client's body in the way that I felt even deep muscles and what they wanted to tell me.
III) Afternoon I did yoga again. Again different setup. Today it was again a bit deeper then previous days. Its very strong how it changes when I do yoga every day, when I did supta-vajrasana I had so strong feeling of panic and fear and wanting to run away that I had to compensate with shouting and screaming. It was v.strong lesson in controlling these feelings. Not suppressing them, but to understand them and let them be. I know that it was so strong because I have workshop tomorrow, but anyway it was there v.real v.strong. In all was yoga quite strong and afterwards I felt my field v.expanded and working. Im not sure if its helping or not of my processes, but I feel it important to do yoga to help me to master my energies.
Strong day today, I was also preparing for workshop on both physical and energetic side. I felt this day as v.important even on first sight not much happened. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept well and deep tonight and don't remember any dreams. In the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) Starting today with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations. longer holds in each rep, from 1-5 seconds in each rep on both sides. Great stretching and warm up as well, because I'm not so limited by new moves (by unfamiliar feelings in body while doing new movements).
Next I did 5 minutes of running and shadowboxing, I did same setup as 2 days ago, but this time shadowboxing first. It proved as right decision. It feels better to do exercises where I need stamina/power/agility before more strength-focused ones. I did also strike and kick practice rounds.
After shadowboxing I continued with Burpees, this time I did 40 of them in 5 minutes. But I felt it good somehow, I was fuming and sweating a lot, but anyway I feel its not so bad, I felt strong while doing those 40 reps, even when I felt where I can be faster. I felt I also do reps v.precisely.
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core exercises. Starting with 4 rounds of TM core WO, after previous blocks I felt its bit on the edge, but that's it - no edge, no progress. I almost could not do anything after those 4 rounds so again - I did anything I could and end up with feeling that I could not do more from moment Im right now at.
Last about 15 minutes I was dancing. After previous exercises it wasn't easy, mainly because of painful middle part, well, not so painful, more stiff and I felt my middle part as shrunk somehow. But I could dance even in this state quite fine in the way of joy and fun :)
II) Later in the morning I had a client, fine treatment, interesting client. I was happy that I could listen to client's body in the way that I felt even deep muscles and what they wanted to tell me.
III) Afternoon I did yoga again. Again different setup. Today it was again a bit deeper then previous days. Its very strong how it changes when I do yoga every day, when I did supta-vajrasana I had so strong feeling of panic and fear and wanting to run away that I had to compensate with shouting and screaming. It was v.strong lesson in controlling these feelings. Not suppressing them, but to understand them and let them be. I know that it was so strong because I have workshop tomorrow, but anyway it was there v.real v.strong. In all was yoga quite strong and afterwards I felt my field v.expanded and working. Im not sure if its helping or not of my processes, but I feel it important to do yoga to help me to master my energies.
Strong day today, I was also preparing for workshop on both physical and energetic side. I felt this day as v.important even on first sight not much happened. Ohm mani padme hum.
čtvrtek 26. září 2013
26.9.2013 - exercise day
79kg " -- " well, after goji fast so no surprise there
I slept v.well tonight and had 2 dreams, both sexual, but not "wet dreams", seems my being is so obsessed by sex ATM, that even dreams (unconsciousness) talk to me with this language. But its alright, I understand this language v.well :) What was new and good was, that I finally had block next to my futon and wrote those dreams down! For first time ever (if I remember right). I felt it as a big breakthrough, because I did something totally new, I felt like its breaking some pattern even - to write something in this half sleeping/dreaming state. I'm proud I finally made it after so many months of working with this. Anyhow - in the morning up for morning exercises!
I) Starting today with 5 minutes warm up, 6x new way SS in dynamic way, followed by running with stretching and bit of shadowboxing. Good as ever. Warm up was followed by 10 minutes of ABS and core practices. Today with gym ball for whole duration, even it doesn't went well, I felt important to do it as I could and as good as I could. My ABS are still v.painful after last days and I want to wake them up to work. ABS are VERY stubborn muscles :P It was rich non the less.
Then I was dancing for about 30 minutes, dancing day today. It was great, I was working a lot with relaxation of my ass and belly during dancing, v.important parts to keep relaxed during such movements in my opinion. I was also working with pelvis movement, to wake up 2nd chakra a bit. My Svaristana seems to me somehow v.damaged for some reason... All in all, it was v.nice session and I enjoyed whole duration v.much. It let me remember those few 1hr sessions of dancing I did, I mean - it made me to want to do them sometimes again :)
II) Afternoon I did yoga again. Today it felt much different then yesterday, for first, I could keep focus much better. Well, it wasn't perfect, no, but much better then yesterday. I made some changes in asanas as well to not be in stereotype. I still feel this session extremely strong working in me. I felt v.nice how is flows in my body changing with doing asanas on higher chakras. And in general I felt today session v.strong. Im curious what makes with me to do some more yoga in tantra course today :)
III) In the evening I went to tantra course. There we did again lot of practice in form of yoga and actually we repeated almost all asanas on 6th chakra. I felt it good, its what I need atm. 6th chakra helps a lot in control of sexual potential. We also did a bit of theory, but practice was main part. I was quite tired afterwards truth to be said.
Rich day today, very. Over 3 hours of exercises from with over 2 hours of yoga. Its powerful stuff. My processes from workshop continue. its v.rich this time. Learns me to be grateful for hard times, good stuff. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept v.well tonight and had 2 dreams, both sexual, but not "wet dreams", seems my being is so obsessed by sex ATM, that even dreams (unconsciousness) talk to me with this language. But its alright, I understand this language v.well :) What was new and good was, that I finally had block next to my futon and wrote those dreams down! For first time ever (if I remember right). I felt it as a big breakthrough, because I did something totally new, I felt like its breaking some pattern even - to write something in this half sleeping/dreaming state. I'm proud I finally made it after so many months of working with this. Anyhow - in the morning up for morning exercises!
I) Starting today with 5 minutes warm up, 6x new way SS in dynamic way, followed by running with stretching and bit of shadowboxing. Good as ever. Warm up was followed by 10 minutes of ABS and core practices. Today with gym ball for whole duration, even it doesn't went well, I felt important to do it as I could and as good as I could. My ABS are still v.painful after last days and I want to wake them up to work. ABS are VERY stubborn muscles :P It was rich non the less.
Then I was dancing for about 30 minutes, dancing day today. It was great, I was working a lot with relaxation of my ass and belly during dancing, v.important parts to keep relaxed during such movements in my opinion. I was also working with pelvis movement, to wake up 2nd chakra a bit. My Svaristana seems to me somehow v.damaged for some reason... All in all, it was v.nice session and I enjoyed whole duration v.much. It let me remember those few 1hr sessions of dancing I did, I mean - it made me to want to do them sometimes again :)
II) Afternoon I did yoga again. Today it felt much different then yesterday, for first, I could keep focus much better. Well, it wasn't perfect, no, but much better then yesterday. I made some changes in asanas as well to not be in stereotype. I still feel this session extremely strong working in me. I felt v.nice how is flows in my body changing with doing asanas on higher chakras. And in general I felt today session v.strong. Im curious what makes with me to do some more yoga in tantra course today :)
III) In the evening I went to tantra course. There we did again lot of practice in form of yoga and actually we repeated almost all asanas on 6th chakra. I felt it good, its what I need atm. 6th chakra helps a lot in control of sexual potential. We also did a bit of theory, but practice was main part. I was quite tired afterwards truth to be said.
Rich day today, very. Over 3 hours of exercises from with over 2 hours of yoga. Its powerful stuff. My processes from workshop continue. its v.rich this time. Learns me to be grateful for hard times, good stuff. Ohm mani padme hum.
středa 25. září 2013
25.9.2013 - Free day - yay!
80,6kg - " = " 3rd day (or 4th in fact) on same weight, starting to wonder if its scale or what, anyway, making goji fast today, that means only goji and water. I want to get rid a bit of that crap I ate in last weeks, or at least try to.
Else I slept v.well and deep, dont remember any dreams and in the morning straight for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with 10 minutes of new way Sun Salutations - whole 10 minutes in as dynamic pace as possible. Well - whoa, its strong. Mainly its hard to keep dynamic pace, this changing position is not easy and takes lot of focus, but I know its matter of time till these movements become natural. Its already much different from month ago when I started with this. Still lots of things to work on - its thrilling, because I know that all those difficult movements will be smooth and full one day, its v.nice feeling.
I continued with 5 minutes of Burpees, I did what I could and it was 42reps in limit and alarm on 43th rep. Not stellar, but Im happy, because I did it on top of my abilities today, its pleasant to feel that its changing and I can do this better and smoother, feelings in whole body are changing too as this process continues, its different feeling during each movement and it never stops fascinating me how new movements and possibilities are coming with each passing week.
Next 5 minutes I spend with Shadowboxing, I realized that it wasn't so smart to make Shadowboxing after Burpees, but cant return time, or can I (or not just YET :D ). So, result - it was pretty challenging to be fast and precious with that numb body, probably its good for something as well. I did mainly stretches and a bit of strike and kick practices.
4th block I did ABS and core exercises. I first wanted to do it on gym ball, but it wasn't possible, my middle part is so painful that I could not do it so I switched to pickup exercises I COULD do. My ABS and core is v.exhausted, but I found that my side muscles could be exercised so I worked on them + anything I could manage. I don't think I had ever so exhausted ABS as today, its interesting to look for parts which can be exercised while the rest is too painful, kind of exploration and interesting to observe how this parts which are able to be worked on are changing.
Last about 15 minutes I was dancing. Today was my body quite painful so I couldnt dance fully or so fluently, but I did what I could and its always good. I enjoyed to move stiff or painful parts in this great movement called "dance".
II) Afternoon I did yoga session for something over an hour. It was sooo obvious how much it takes to stop doing yoga regularly. Its not just flexibility, flexibility doesn't suffer so much, because I do other exercises, but mainly ability to focus and to discipline my mind to serve me instead of control me. Its always so strong when I start again after some time, I guess if it changes one day and I could keep ability to focus for more days. If my container for this can grow so big. Anyway - it was of course v.good to do yoga, I felt so much different in the end, so much better, even it wasn't easy to go through asanas. I recognized my resistance to ground, during 1st chakra was my attention flying around most. But what made me happy most was, that it worked.
In last days I had so much sexual energy, that I had to masturbate daily, but today I could manage without suppressing myself. Which is great. Its amazing how incredibly powerful is sexual energy, its like endless stream filling up reservoir inside me which is simply too small to contain what flew in during 1 day.
Without yoga and tantra I don't know what I would do. Having lots of sex is not solution, its harming me to ejaculate too often and I cant learn to control my sexual potential while having sex. Yoga helps me a lot in this case. Actually - my abundance of sexual energy was reason why I started to be interested in yoga and tantra. Because nothing else shows how to ride this tiger.
I must say, that doing asanas for 6th chakra helps a lot. But then problems with grounding comes. But well.... its path to walk and experiment and learn from own mistakes and feelings.
Rest of the day I did some minor stuff, I had free day today after v.long time and I was resting, exercising, shopping a lot and watching movies. Easy, integration day. Well, easy on paper, its so much things precessing after workshop, its amazing. Great day today!
Else I slept v.well and deep, dont remember any dreams and in the morning straight for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with 10 minutes of new way Sun Salutations - whole 10 minutes in as dynamic pace as possible. Well - whoa, its strong. Mainly its hard to keep dynamic pace, this changing position is not easy and takes lot of focus, but I know its matter of time till these movements become natural. Its already much different from month ago when I started with this. Still lots of things to work on - its thrilling, because I know that all those difficult movements will be smooth and full one day, its v.nice feeling.
I continued with 5 minutes of Burpees, I did what I could and it was 42reps in limit and alarm on 43th rep. Not stellar, but Im happy, because I did it on top of my abilities today, its pleasant to feel that its changing and I can do this better and smoother, feelings in whole body are changing too as this process continues, its different feeling during each movement and it never stops fascinating me how new movements and possibilities are coming with each passing week.
Next 5 minutes I spend with Shadowboxing, I realized that it wasn't so smart to make Shadowboxing after Burpees, but cant return time, or can I (or not just YET :D ). So, result - it was pretty challenging to be fast and precious with that numb body, probably its good for something as well. I did mainly stretches and a bit of strike and kick practices.
4th block I did ABS and core exercises. I first wanted to do it on gym ball, but it wasn't possible, my middle part is so painful that I could not do it so I switched to pickup exercises I COULD do. My ABS and core is v.exhausted, but I found that my side muscles could be exercised so I worked on them + anything I could manage. I don't think I had ever so exhausted ABS as today, its interesting to look for parts which can be exercised while the rest is too painful, kind of exploration and interesting to observe how this parts which are able to be worked on are changing.
Last about 15 minutes I was dancing. Today was my body quite painful so I couldnt dance fully or so fluently, but I did what I could and its always good. I enjoyed to move stiff or painful parts in this great movement called "dance".
II) Afternoon I did yoga session for something over an hour. It was sooo obvious how much it takes to stop doing yoga regularly. Its not just flexibility, flexibility doesn't suffer so much, because I do other exercises, but mainly ability to focus and to discipline my mind to serve me instead of control me. Its always so strong when I start again after some time, I guess if it changes one day and I could keep ability to focus for more days. If my container for this can grow so big. Anyway - it was of course v.good to do yoga, I felt so much different in the end, so much better, even it wasn't easy to go through asanas. I recognized my resistance to ground, during 1st chakra was my attention flying around most. But what made me happy most was, that it worked.
In last days I had so much sexual energy, that I had to masturbate daily, but today I could manage without suppressing myself. Which is great. Its amazing how incredibly powerful is sexual energy, its like endless stream filling up reservoir inside me which is simply too small to contain what flew in during 1 day.
Without yoga and tantra I don't know what I would do. Having lots of sex is not solution, its harming me to ejaculate too often and I cant learn to control my sexual potential while having sex. Yoga helps me a lot in this case. Actually - my abundance of sexual energy was reason why I started to be interested in yoga and tantra. Because nothing else shows how to ride this tiger.
I must say, that doing asanas for 6th chakra helps a lot. But then problems with grounding comes. But well.... its path to walk and experiment and learn from own mistakes and feelings.
Rest of the day I did some minor stuff, I had free day today after v.long time and I was resting, exercising, shopping a lot and watching movies. Easy, integration day. Well, easy on paper, its so much things precessing after workshop, its amazing. Great day today!
úterý 24. září 2013
24.9.2013 - massage day in and out
80,6kg " = " fat pig Im atm, but its fine, at least I have material to build to build me up and more motivation to jump into exercises more actively.
I slept well tonight, deep and dreamless and in the morning up for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with 5 minute warm up, 6x new way Sun Salutations and then running with stretching and shadowboxing, great warm up as ever. Then I continued with 10 minutes consisted from 60 reps of Burpees... oh man, its good I did it, I need lot of work in this way. It took me like 8 minutes to do them. Well and in remaining time I was a bit playing with body movement on the ground - turns, falls and simply playing with movement and stuff :)
Next 10 minutes I dedicated to ABS and core training. I did strange mix of exercises which come out of my needs and my abilities. My ABS hurts a lot after yesterday training so I had to really find what is possible to do, I couldnt do lots of things, because it simply pained too much, but I found what I could (mostly side muscles) and I was happy for time limit alarm... was rich today again!
Last about 20 minutes I was dancing, again in v.nice, creative, fluent pace and enjoyed it a lot.
II) Later in the morning I went to give me a massage and well... it was great, its still living in me, amazing massage I got today and enjoyed it veeeery much :)
III) Afternoon I gave massage instead, intersting treatment for a new client, I think I never had such strange energy with a client. Im not sure what it was, but I guess future will show.
And it was evening already. I did nothing much then this. Well, yeah, I did couple of minor things and duties, but nothing major. In all it was nice day, especially massage was wonderful :)
I slept well tonight, deep and dreamless and in the morning up for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with 5 minute warm up, 6x new way Sun Salutations and then running with stretching and shadowboxing, great warm up as ever. Then I continued with 10 minutes consisted from 60 reps of Burpees... oh man, its good I did it, I need lot of work in this way. It took me like 8 minutes to do them. Well and in remaining time I was a bit playing with body movement on the ground - turns, falls and simply playing with movement and stuff :)
Next 10 minutes I dedicated to ABS and core training. I did strange mix of exercises which come out of my needs and my abilities. My ABS hurts a lot after yesterday training so I had to really find what is possible to do, I couldnt do lots of things, because it simply pained too much, but I found what I could (mostly side muscles) and I was happy for time limit alarm... was rich today again!
Last about 20 minutes I was dancing, again in v.nice, creative, fluent pace and enjoyed it a lot.
II) Later in the morning I went to give me a massage and well... it was great, its still living in me, amazing massage I got today and enjoyed it veeeery much :)
III) Afternoon I gave massage instead, intersting treatment for a new client, I think I never had such strange energy with a client. Im not sure what it was, but I guess future will show.
And it was evening already. I did nothing much then this. Well, yeah, I did couple of minor things and duties, but nothing major. In all it was nice day, especially massage was wonderful :)
23.9.2013 - another goodbye and return to duties
?? Weight. I had no space in the morning to make morning exercises. I wanted to spend last few hours with my beloved before we parted. It wasnt easy to say goodbye...
Morning I spend by doing "official" stuff while afternoon I had a client. Great treatment, client who did not visited me for a long time, but it felt like it was just last week, interesting feeling.
Afternoon I did "morning" exercise set starting with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations in new way with holds in positions from 1-5 seconds increasing in each rep. To my surprise I had time to spare after 5sec reps, seems Im doing position changing and movement phases faster so I spare lots of time, thats great. It felt good and as v.good stretch and warm up.
Next I did 10 minutes of Kata1, again it felt much better. I did 10 reps on each side and then 2 extra reps on each side with 5 second holds in hard positions. I was v.exhausted afterwards, but it worked and I even had time for some extra Sun Salutations to fill time which was too short for another pair of reps (Kata1 is bipolar set so I wont do just rep on 1 side).
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core practice.... hmm, what I did? Oh yeah, barstarz exercises mostly. Wow, it was difficult, but I felt my ABS are a bit waking up from slumber and working again, it felt good, v.rich.
Last about 15 minutes I was dancing in v.nice, creative pace, I felt v.playful and enjoyed it a lot really :)
In the evening I went accidentally on sample class of one course which I did years ago, course about work with bio energy. I did not knew its happening, just thanks a note of one friend on FB I saw its happening. And I had time in the evening, which was just another coincidence. And it was real cool, reminder of work we did on the course years ago and so on. Its pity I cant join the course, because of my time schedule, but it was great to be there.
Besides being there and exercising I also met there friend with which I almost lost contact. Amazing how life works :)
In all, v.interesting day. Im grateful for today a lot. Ohm mani padme hum.
Morning I spend by doing "official" stuff while afternoon I had a client. Great treatment, client who did not visited me for a long time, but it felt like it was just last week, interesting feeling.
Afternoon I did "morning" exercise set starting with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations in new way with holds in positions from 1-5 seconds increasing in each rep. To my surprise I had time to spare after 5sec reps, seems Im doing position changing and movement phases faster so I spare lots of time, thats great. It felt good and as v.good stretch and warm up.
Next I did 10 minutes of Kata1, again it felt much better. I did 10 reps on each side and then 2 extra reps on each side with 5 second holds in hard positions. I was v.exhausted afterwards, but it worked and I even had time for some extra Sun Salutations to fill time which was too short for another pair of reps (Kata1 is bipolar set so I wont do just rep on 1 side).
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core practice.... hmm, what I did? Oh yeah, barstarz exercises mostly. Wow, it was difficult, but I felt my ABS are a bit waking up from slumber and working again, it felt good, v.rich.
Last about 15 minutes I was dancing in v.nice, creative pace, I felt v.playful and enjoyed it a lot really :)
In the evening I went accidentally on sample class of one course which I did years ago, course about work with bio energy. I did not knew its happening, just thanks a note of one friend on FB I saw its happening. And I had time in the evening, which was just another coincidence. And it was real cool, reminder of work we did on the course years ago and so on. Its pity I cant join the course, because of my time schedule, but it was great to be there.
Besides being there and exercising I also met there friend with which I almost lost contact. Amazing how life works :)
In all, v.interesting day. Im grateful for today a lot. Ohm mani padme hum.
neděle 22. září 2013
22.9.2013 - Easy flowing
?? Weight. I originally wanted to do morning exercise in the morning but I somehow got stuck in very beautiful and cozy feelings and sunny sunday morning with my beloved in the bed... :3
It was really v.nice morning today, sun was shining and we bathed in love. It was a bit surprising after all that shit yesterday, but thats how it sometimes is and why is probably good to deal with stuff as fast as possible - to enjoy sun when it comes and not need to deal with shit longer then necessary.
I) In the morning I had a client, v.strong and intensive treatment. Its always after workshop that its strong, Im just curious how long I made it to keep it this time :)
II) Afternoon I did "morning" exercise. Starting with 5 minutes warm up consisted from 6 new-way Sun Salutations, running and shadowboxing. Incredible how can be 5 minutes intensive... good warm up indeed.
Then I did Burpees for 5 minutes. First I felt like I will do hardly 20 but in the end I did something around 35 of them. Its not so bad after workshop, it will get better in next days. Next 5 minutes I did leg exercises - 50x normal squats, then 30 Jump Lunges and in the spare time around 8 wide squats. I feel my legs are starting responding and working better. I was overlooking my legs for a long time, but they need also love!
Then I was giving love to my core and ABS, first 4 rounds TM core WO with 1 minute frozen V-sit in the end. In the spare time I did mix of exercises, mainly situps and one dynamic exercises, It was v.rich, I was happy for time limit alarm...
Last about 20 minutes I spend dancing. Today I was in v.joyful creative energy, it was v.nice. Enjoyed dancing a lot.
Today was v.nice day, I enjoyed both my stuff and being with my beloved. What a difference to yesterday! Incredible how important is to stay present and not get stuck in old shit just for the sake of being miserable at all cost.
It was really v.nice morning today, sun was shining and we bathed in love. It was a bit surprising after all that shit yesterday, but thats how it sometimes is and why is probably good to deal with stuff as fast as possible - to enjoy sun when it comes and not need to deal with shit longer then necessary.
I) In the morning I had a client, v.strong and intensive treatment. Its always after workshop that its strong, Im just curious how long I made it to keep it this time :)
II) Afternoon I did "morning" exercise. Starting with 5 minutes warm up consisted from 6 new-way Sun Salutations, running and shadowboxing. Incredible how can be 5 minutes intensive... good warm up indeed.
Then I did Burpees for 5 minutes. First I felt like I will do hardly 20 but in the end I did something around 35 of them. Its not so bad after workshop, it will get better in next days. Next 5 minutes I did leg exercises - 50x normal squats, then 30 Jump Lunges and in the spare time around 8 wide squats. I feel my legs are starting responding and working better. I was overlooking my legs for a long time, but they need also love!
Then I was giving love to my core and ABS, first 4 rounds TM core WO with 1 minute frozen V-sit in the end. In the spare time I did mix of exercises, mainly situps and one dynamic exercises, It was v.rich, I was happy for time limit alarm...
Last about 20 minutes I spend dancing. Today I was in v.joyful creative energy, it was v.nice. Enjoyed dancing a lot.
Today was v.nice day, I enjoyed both my stuff and being with my beloved. What a difference to yesterday! Incredible how important is to stay present and not get stuck in old shit just for the sake of being miserable at all cost.
21.9.2013 - aggresion and love and being in pain
80,6kg - yeah... " ++ " this workshop gave me a lot on more lines....
I slept well, because it was gr8 to sleep again on my futon and actually in warm.... hmm... I didnt realized on workshop how crazy uncomfortable I feel there. Which is probably a good thing tho.... Anyhow, in the morning straight for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with Sun Salutations on speed, I did 20 on right and 20 on left and before 10 minut alarm rung 2 more reps. I was v.happy, because those left-sided old-way SS are not easy at all! Im used only on right side and it IS difference to do them on both sides. I thought its same in past. Well, good lesson and Im happy I could made no less then full 40 in 10 minutes. In total I did about 50 something in 15 minutes. It was quite rich.... fuf.
Next I did 10 minutes of ABS and core exercises, mostly holdings in many variations, a bit of dynamic exercises as well, but mainly holdings. As expected it was hard after those lazy days on workshop. Again getting into shape.... I would love to find way how to reprogram me, that Im not loosing shape so fast, I know its my mind which causes so fast shape-loosing.
Then I was dancing for about 20 minutes and it was cool and great and I enjoyed it :)
Today I did no more exercises, it was v.heavy day with lots of patterns unleashed and causing lots of pain to both me and my beloved. It was incredible how much shit was coming out and I wasnt happy about it at all, but at the same time Im sure that it had big meaning and reason. V.heavy day.
In days like this is not easy to be grateful, but Im at least trying to.
I slept well, because it was gr8 to sleep again on my futon and actually in warm.... hmm... I didnt realized on workshop how crazy uncomfortable I feel there. Which is probably a good thing tho.... Anyhow, in the morning straight for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with Sun Salutations on speed, I did 20 on right and 20 on left and before 10 minut alarm rung 2 more reps. I was v.happy, because those left-sided old-way SS are not easy at all! Im used only on right side and it IS difference to do them on both sides. I thought its same in past. Well, good lesson and Im happy I could made no less then full 40 in 10 minutes. In total I did about 50 something in 15 minutes. It was quite rich.... fuf.
Next I did 10 minutes of ABS and core exercises, mostly holdings in many variations, a bit of dynamic exercises as well, but mainly holdings. As expected it was hard after those lazy days on workshop. Again getting into shape.... I would love to find way how to reprogram me, that Im not loosing shape so fast, I know its my mind which causes so fast shape-loosing.
Then I was dancing for about 20 minutes and it was cool and great and I enjoyed it :)
Today I did no more exercises, it was v.heavy day with lots of patterns unleashed and causing lots of pain to both me and my beloved. It was incredible how much shit was coming out and I wasnt happy about it at all, but at the same time Im sure that it had big meaning and reason. V.heavy day.
In days like this is not easy to be grateful, but Im at least trying to.
20.9.2013 - Departure and goodbyes
?? Weight. In the morning I felt like I wont do any exercises and I could not kick my ass hard enough to do anything. Im not sure if its correct to blame wine from yesterday or if its just good excuse, but in the end - I did no morning exercise. I slept as long as possible, then just did morning hygiene and went to morning program.
Today was last day of workshop and in the morning we did v.nice practice to set us for goodbyes while in the afternoon we said goodbyes to each other and slowly went to cars and home. I must say for me it wasnt much joyful goodbye session, my sorrows about not having own kids returned, even I though its gone. Nope. It just transformed into not liking kids... not a happy realization, but its here and I have to somehow deal with it.
Travel home was fine, we hit some traffic jams, but nothing SO crazy. It was a bit messy to arrive home and not have energy to sort everything before sleeping so first night was a bit.. messy.
Today was last day of workshop and in the morning we did v.nice practice to set us for goodbyes while in the afternoon we said goodbyes to each other and slowly went to cars and home. I must say for me it wasnt much joyful goodbye session, my sorrows about not having own kids returned, even I though its gone. Nope. It just transformed into not liking kids... not a happy realization, but its here and I have to somehow deal with it.
Travel home was fine, we hit some traffic jams, but nothing SO crazy. It was a bit messy to arrive home and not have energy to sort everything before sleeping so first night was a bit.. messy.
19.9.2013 - Last concerts and evening
?? Weight. I did not slept long, but quite nice. I was lazy
to jump out again for full morning exercise, but I got up later and did at
least a bit...
I) Starting today with
10 minutes of Sun Salutation. I tried today dynamic pace for whole time. I must
say it was quite challenging! Both on muscles and energy. I almost could not
finish... I must do it more often like this, it feels good..
Then I was just
dancing for about 13minutes, it felt mainly great to dance and move and warm up
a bit, get into smoothness and creativity in the morning. I enjoyed it.
Today was last day with singing, last group of people and people who wanted to sing extra, it was quite fun. I would like to share more, but I feel confidentiality to not do so. In all another full day with new experiences. In the evening we sat in eating room and had free talk and such, I even took a cup of wine. It was interesting to feel how one bloody cup of wine effect everything. My perception, my control, my focus, breath, coordination, sleep and in the morning will to exercise. Good decision to drink as less as possible. Good reminder.
18.9.2013 – Time of my performance
?? Weight. I slept on 2 different places tonight, first
inside with other people, but then I went better outsde into cold night,
luxury of my place is better then warm and uncomfortability. In total I slept
well. In the morning I took lot of time to get up, I had hard times to get from
warm sleeping bag into cold morning, but in the end I made it to make at least
30 minutes exercise.
I) Starting with new
Sun Salutation with holdings from 1 – 5 seconds, it took a bit more then 10
minutes, but anyway... I felt it v.good today, I felt stretched and warmed up.
I wasnt so nervous about movements anymore and exercise went quite fluent even
in this cold.
Then I did about 8
minutes of core and abs exercises, mainly Barstarz exercises, it was
interesting, mix where I though my belly muscles are getting better and in some
moment I felt them weaker. But general feeling was – great I did some exercise,
its really not easy for me in this cold, wet weather.
As last thing I was
dancing for about 10 minutes. Again, I felt it more good to do and as good way
to start a day.
Today on workshop was
great, again cake made of all emotions, but with more fun and joy and
challenges. I was also singing in front of whole group my song of the soul.
Interesting experience. I cant share details about today, but in all it was
v.nice and joyful day.
17.9.2013 – Another day on workshop
?? Weight – Tonight I slept well, but it was really cold.
Also in the evening there was lot of noise from people, in the night from rain
and in the morning from roosters... but I slept somehow fine. Just i felt like
in the morning is too cold to do full exercise, so I slept a bit more and did
just...'
I) Started with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations. I think in the end it was more like 9 minutes and lots of slacking, but I received fair share of stretches anyway, I felt I need it and I think I indeed needed it.
I) Started with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations. I think in the end it was more like 9 minutes and lots of slacking, but I received fair share of stretches anyway, I felt I need it and I think I indeed needed it.
Then I was dancing for
about 10 minutes, it was again a bit cold, but thats simply theme of today
morning – cold and wet, but I enjoyed even that easy dancing without much leg
work. As a starter of the day it was fine.
Today was a tad
easier then yesterday... actually much better I would say. We had again sharing
circle and program continued in similar way as yesterday. In the morning I was
quite pissed off about lot of stuff, but it somehow got solved by sharings of
other people, since lunch I felt much easier and gathered. Afternoon was lot of
fun, I wont share details, but yeah... some parts were quite fun :)
Now in the evening we are going to have evening by fire so Im curious how it will work out.
Now in the evening we are going to have evening by fire so Im curious how it will work out.
It was too cold for me
to stay outside with a crowd so after a while I went inside to spend some
beautiful time with my beloved.
I must say today Im a
bit so-so. Im thinking if my day was so nice because I could make love or if I
would feel it same without as well. Usually I dont need to make love to have a
great day, that I know already, but on this workshop... Im not so sure.
However – either way, I should be grateful for good day, no matter if its thanks to patterns or not, thats how I feel it :) Ohm mani padme hum.
However – either way, I should be grateful for good day, no matter if its thanks to patterns or not, thats how I feel it :) Ohm mani padme hum.
16.9.2013 – cake with a cherry on top
Tonight I slept again V:good. That place Im sleeping is
awesome. I dont remember any dreams, just enjoying my rest and that awesome
luxury of my sleeping place :3 in the morning straight for morning exercise.
I) I wanted to start
with Sun Salutations on speed and I did, but new version in my system
interfered so much, that after 20 reps I had to switch to 20 reps with
different leg swap. It brought in fact new way of doing this and as every new
way do – I could not be so fast and fluent as with old way. So I did in total
40 reps in 15 minutes and with lot of time which I spend resting and preparing
place for next exercises. I also felt like not overdoing exercises because I
feel a bit sick still.
Next 10 minutes I did
core and ABS exercises. 30 situps, 1 minute v-sit, 30 situps, 90 secs v-sit,
and about 24 situps. I was surprised I could not do 3rd set of
situps, but that was how it was. Whole morning exercise today felt somehow
strange.
Last about 20 minutes I was dancing, as well as rest of exercises it felt somehow fruitless and juiceless. Dont take me wrong, it was good and nice to dance and I felt happy that I can move myself at this part of day on my own. I felt really good, just more lazy and fruitless then usually.
Last about 20 minutes I was dancing, as well as rest of exercises it felt somehow fruitless and juiceless. Dont take me wrong, it was good and nice to dance and I felt happy that I can move myself at this part of day on my own. I felt really good, just more lazy and fruitless then usually.
This day on workshop
was quite rich. It was really a cake made from many ingredients. In one moment I
felt like I simply need to process and ventilate my anger and inner pressure
and I asked one guy to fight with me. He was strong and good and pinned me
down, but it was fine, it wasnt about aggression, but to feel myself. I
realized, that I somehow want to feel humiliated, I need to be put down to get
to the ground and see more real. Im not sure if its really like this, but thats
how I felt it. Im still v.tired and often feeling exhausted, I feel like its
lot of happenings going on inside me. Workshop is working :)
In the
evening we did session with blindfolds, something like blind date, its was
v.nice and juicy, beautiful cherry on top of today cake. Rich day.
Přihlásit se k odběru:
Příspěvky (Atom)