83,7 " + " a bit more, but I must say I think I called it, because I was like - 2 days are beautiful, but I doubt I will have less 3rd day as well - so I hadnt! I must to master thinking too.
Else I slept not so well tonight, or I dont know, I felt like I slept enough, but when alarm rung I was like - "Its not possible.... ". But I had dreams tonight and I remember them. I was in my old shop, which was strangely combined with meadow, countryside and normal shop with electricity and everything. Only dream can construct something like that really. I met there my old colegues and my old boss and I was somehow not functioning and boss started me with jumper cables and then I was like flying... and final feeling was that I can do whatever I imagine, but I cant do what I feel impossible. I had also other dream which followed after this one, but that one I forgot. Well... and in the morning up for morning exercise.
I) Starting with 5 minutes warm up. 10 fast old way Sun Salutations, running with stretches and shadowboxing. More intensive today, I felt like I have enough after those first 5 minutes.... Well, I continued with pyramid, because it was after such a long time since I made this I started from 10 to 1 and in spare time back to 6 so total I did 75 pushups / 75 situps / 75 squats, which is not much, but it was really maximum I could do and I pushed myself hard as ever, it was rich and on maximum. I felt it great, next time from 11!
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core practices. I did what I could as well, tried to rest as less as I could and do as much and precisely as possible. Which wasnt so much I must say, but as always - if I do 100% then dosnt matter how it may look from outside. But Im astonished how much I could do before incident. I must've been so in shape! And I want again.
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. First 5 - 10 minutes was hard, because I was lot stiff from previous, but it slowly dissolved. I could really enjoy a lot dancing in the end and in some moments I surprised myself how wild and free Im dancing, it felt great :)
Lets see what today special day brings! .....to be continued
For the rest of day we did a lot of preparations for Silvester, making food and preparing place, clearing and also spend some quality time together in both love making and arguing way..... :P
Silvester was very nice, my beloved prepared very beautifully place for ritual and arranged food and candles around, then we ate and we told to each other what we wish for a new year. Then we did short rituals where we tried in bodywork way support each other in going into new year.
Then finally, after short rest we went to the city to attend Silvester event, i was loud and lots of firecrackers as expected and I felt great to attend this and support our intentions while going into new year with all other people around.
Ohm mani padme hum and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
úterý 31. prosince 2013
pondělí 30. prosince 2013
30.12.2013 - preparations for Silvester
83,4kg " - " Its nice, 2 days in the row having less weight, even if it would be last day its so refreshing to see some progress after month and a half or something.
I slept well tonight, had nourishing sleep. Dont remember any dreams tho. In the morning up for morning exercises.
I) Starting with 5 minutes warm up, 10 fast reps of old way SS, running with stretches and some shadowboxing, great warm up. Then 10 minutes of ABS and core practices, today I did 30 situps/ 1 minute yoga v-sit / 30 situps / 1:30 v-sit /30 situps / v-sit till the end. I think its also thanks to that great motivation music set I have, but it went quite well in comparison in last weeks. I could not make it as I imagine, but it felt great and rich.
Then 30 minutes of dancing. Love this longer sessions, its good to have time to play with rhythm and to work with parts of body which needs attention while dancing. Enjoyed it a lot.
II) Then nice time with my beloved while we had very nice sex which is always very good workout :) I know it sounds probably very un-romantic, but love making is good motivation to exercises and is showing where to look in training - to not be limited during such a blissful activity.
Lets see what day will bring. To be continued....
For the rest of the day I did just short walk for 30 minutes in wonderful sun outside so rare at the end of december. I spend day with preparations for silvester, planing, shopping and such which took lot of energy. But later on I spend nice, cozy, loving evening with my beloved which recharged a little :) Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept well tonight, had nourishing sleep. Dont remember any dreams tho. In the morning up for morning exercises.
I) Starting with 5 minutes warm up, 10 fast reps of old way SS, running with stretches and some shadowboxing, great warm up. Then 10 minutes of ABS and core practices, today I did 30 situps/ 1 minute yoga v-sit / 30 situps / 1:30 v-sit /30 situps / v-sit till the end. I think its also thanks to that great motivation music set I have, but it went quite well in comparison in last weeks. I could not make it as I imagine, but it felt great and rich.
Then 30 minutes of dancing. Love this longer sessions, its good to have time to play with rhythm and to work with parts of body which needs attention while dancing. Enjoyed it a lot.
II) Then nice time with my beloved while we had very nice sex which is always very good workout :) I know it sounds probably very un-romantic, but love making is good motivation to exercises and is showing where to look in training - to not be limited during such a blissful activity.
Lets see what day will bring. To be continued....
For the rest of the day I did just short walk for 30 minutes in wonderful sun outside so rare at the end of december. I spend day with preparations for silvester, planing, shopping and such which took lot of energy. But later on I spend nice, cozy, loving evening with my beloved which recharged a little :) Ohm mani padme hum.
neděle 29. prosince 2013
29.12.2013 - heavy and dark
84,2kg " - " - finally after so long time is scale showing less for a change
Else I slept good and well and dont remember any dreams, but Im not sure if I hadnt some. However I woke up short before alarm and was just lazying for a while in a bed before getting up and going for mornign exercises.
I) Starting with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations with holds for 5-2 seconds, did not made more, but I felt it totally fine, its going much better and I fee my body already better "oiled" and starting faster in the morning. And I also feel myself more flexible in Sun Salutations. Persistence is a key here, body will find the way how to move in any way if I give it focus and energy.
I continued with 10 minutes of Kata1. Been a while since I did this and I felt that some muscles which are active in this set gone weaker, but in general it went quite fine, I did 11 reps on each side in dynamic way and 1 extra on each side with 5 sec holds in positions.
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core training, first 4 rounds of TM core WO, which was HARD really, but I made it even I had to overcome lots of pain in my core area. I could not do much afterwards, but I did what I could, this new motivation set really helps a lot to push it to the limits :)
Last I was dancing for about 15 minutes. Today I enjoyed it very much, even I was stiff for whole time in middle area I felt it like there is nothing better I could do to make it different.
Lets see what day brings.... to be continued.
For the rest of the day I did not much, just short walk, which was nice, but nothing major at all. I had very heavy and difficult day, emotionally mainly. Its interesting that in those darkest moments is love shining brightest deep inside and gives clear sign, that its worth to break some personal believes and perspectives.
While going to sleep I felt much better. Ohm mani padme hum.
Else I slept good and well and dont remember any dreams, but Im not sure if I hadnt some. However I woke up short before alarm and was just lazying for a while in a bed before getting up and going for mornign exercises.
I) Starting with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations with holds for 5-2 seconds, did not made more, but I felt it totally fine, its going much better and I fee my body already better "oiled" and starting faster in the morning. And I also feel myself more flexible in Sun Salutations. Persistence is a key here, body will find the way how to move in any way if I give it focus and energy.
I continued with 10 minutes of Kata1. Been a while since I did this and I felt that some muscles which are active in this set gone weaker, but in general it went quite fine, I did 11 reps on each side in dynamic way and 1 extra on each side with 5 sec holds in positions.
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core training, first 4 rounds of TM core WO, which was HARD really, but I made it even I had to overcome lots of pain in my core area. I could not do much afterwards, but I did what I could, this new motivation set really helps a lot to push it to the limits :)
Last I was dancing for about 15 minutes. Today I enjoyed it very much, even I was stiff for whole time in middle area I felt it like there is nothing better I could do to make it different.
Lets see what day brings.... to be continued.
For the rest of the day I did not much, just short walk, which was nice, but nothing major at all. I had very heavy and difficult day, emotionally mainly. Its interesting that in those darkest moments is love shining brightest deep inside and gives clear sign, that its worth to break some personal believes and perspectives.
While going to sleep I felt much better. Ohm mani padme hum.
sobota 28. prosince 2013
28.12.2013 - Dancing around :)
85kg - other scale, but anyway. Im trying to be nice to me and both not eat much and to do proper movement, but till the end of the year Im not so much fuzzed, it seems my body is simply programmed to gain all the time at this period of a year.
I slept somehow good tonight, not easy on my soul, because I still have very closed, heart-pain moods almost whole days, but I slept out well anyway, which is good. And in the morning up for morning exercises.
I) Starting today with 15 minutes of Sun Salutations. First I did old-way ones on speed for 10 minutes, I made 46 of them, which I feel great after so many weeks of no practice of this. I also made it with alternating sides which adds a bit more juice into it. But I must say those last 4 reps took me like 1 minute or something, I was quite finished in the end. Those last 5 minutes I did new way SS with 5 seconds holds to stretch myself and for the rest of time dynamic reps. It was RICH!
I continued with 10 minutes of ABS and core practices, mainly Barstarz exercises. I felt it today much better then in last weeks. I also think that new motivation set Im listening to while exercising is helping a lot to overcome a lot of struggle. And.... why not, if it helps to become better then yesterday and is for free and not harming me in any way... why not to use some inspiration speeches from those who achieved a lot. Remains to add that it was rich today and I felt it great.
Then I was dancing for about 20 minutes, today it was more fun and I had lots of joy while dancing, not much more to add.
Lets see what day will bring... to be continued.
Rest of morning and part of afternoon went in easy way, we were preparing for the evening.
II) Evening we went for shamanistic event in nearby workshop place. It was about focusing intentions for next year and it was made in series of exercise with main part being dancing for over an hour. It was nice experience, Im not like WOW or something, but I felt it valuable to be there. First I felt since some weeks that I want to dance in trance, second I feel great to focus on my intentions in life at this time of year. Silvester was for me always v.special time in this way. And it was also nice to do something together with my beloved while we are here. Dancing was really long and exhausting, but I think very good for me and to switch off mind. After dancing took place 20 minutes of no moving at all and I felt v.strong how Im charged from that dancing, nice. Total feeling is, Im not in some strong feelings, but feel deep inside, that it has to happen.
Then we returned home and went to bed. I felt personally like if somebody removed all my bones from joints and throw into sack, my whole body felt like unable to move. I should maybe dance more to improve my stamina a bit :) Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept somehow good tonight, not easy on my soul, because I still have very closed, heart-pain moods almost whole days, but I slept out well anyway, which is good. And in the morning up for morning exercises.
I) Starting today with 15 minutes of Sun Salutations. First I did old-way ones on speed for 10 minutes, I made 46 of them, which I feel great after so many weeks of no practice of this. I also made it with alternating sides which adds a bit more juice into it. But I must say those last 4 reps took me like 1 minute or something, I was quite finished in the end. Those last 5 minutes I did new way SS with 5 seconds holds to stretch myself and for the rest of time dynamic reps. It was RICH!
I continued with 10 minutes of ABS and core practices, mainly Barstarz exercises. I felt it today much better then in last weeks. I also think that new motivation set Im listening to while exercising is helping a lot to overcome a lot of struggle. And.... why not, if it helps to become better then yesterday and is for free and not harming me in any way... why not to use some inspiration speeches from those who achieved a lot. Remains to add that it was rich today and I felt it great.
Then I was dancing for about 20 minutes, today it was more fun and I had lots of joy while dancing, not much more to add.
Lets see what day will bring... to be continued.
Rest of morning and part of afternoon went in easy way, we were preparing for the evening.
II) Evening we went for shamanistic event in nearby workshop place. It was about focusing intentions for next year and it was made in series of exercise with main part being dancing for over an hour. It was nice experience, Im not like WOW or something, but I felt it valuable to be there. First I felt since some weeks that I want to dance in trance, second I feel great to focus on my intentions in life at this time of year. Silvester was for me always v.special time in this way. And it was also nice to do something together with my beloved while we are here. Dancing was really long and exhausting, but I think very good for me and to switch off mind. After dancing took place 20 minutes of no moving at all and I felt v.strong how Im charged from that dancing, nice. Total feeling is, Im not in some strong feelings, but feel deep inside, that it has to happen.
Then we returned home and went to bed. I felt personally like if somebody removed all my bones from joints and throw into sack, my whole body felt like unable to move. I should maybe dance more to improve my stamina a bit :) Ohm mani padme hum.
27.12.2013 - travelling and shopping
84,5kg - yeah, its not so bad, I though it will be much worst after Christmas feast.
I slept quite well tonight, even in soft bed I felt like sleeping deep and nourishing, felt great. And in the morning up for morning exercises.
I) Starting with 5 minutes of Sun Salutations, in this time I made 1 rep on each side with 5 sec holds and 1 rep or something with 4 seconds holds. Good warm up as always. Then I did 10 minutes of ABS and core exercises. Funny thing is, originally I wanted to make it opposite, but I chose "wrong" time shedule in interval timer so it went like this. I though like - ok, universe is smarter then me so lets be it, I did mix of exercises, what I could do on edge of what was possible.
3rd block I was biking again, today 4:30 on 2nd level, 5:00 on 3rd and tried 30 secs on 4th, its challenging setup, but I feel legs are improving very fast and need to be stimulated so I cant stand on same speed for long. I swept a lot and I felt it really great. I feel this stationary biking very good without listening to music with earplugs in ears or watching something, its like dynamic yoga how I feel it. Also biking of my beloved is very inspiring to keep progressing on this.
Last part I was dancing for about 20 minutes, not so fluent and juicy as I would like, but felt great as usually anyway. I feel that dancing is very healthy for me no matter how its going or if I like it a lot or juts a bit.
II) Then we was travelling a lot, first long car drive, then we went to city centre to check post-CHM markets and such, which included lots of walking and watching, I enjoyed being in a city as always, even its very exhausting, its also somehow always stimulating and in some way also inspiring. I found one tiny shop with original pottery works from local artist. Amazing pieces they have there, funny, beautiful, all sorts. Both me and my beloved bought gifts there.
That was it for today, it wasnt so little actually, I stopped somewhere after 19 when all was done and was happy to spend nice, cozy evening. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept quite well tonight, even in soft bed I felt like sleeping deep and nourishing, felt great. And in the morning up for morning exercises.
I) Starting with 5 minutes of Sun Salutations, in this time I made 1 rep on each side with 5 sec holds and 1 rep or something with 4 seconds holds. Good warm up as always. Then I did 10 minutes of ABS and core exercises. Funny thing is, originally I wanted to make it opposite, but I chose "wrong" time shedule in interval timer so it went like this. I though like - ok, universe is smarter then me so lets be it, I did mix of exercises, what I could do on edge of what was possible.
3rd block I was biking again, today 4:30 on 2nd level, 5:00 on 3rd and tried 30 secs on 4th, its challenging setup, but I feel legs are improving very fast and need to be stimulated so I cant stand on same speed for long. I swept a lot and I felt it really great. I feel this stationary biking very good without listening to music with earplugs in ears or watching something, its like dynamic yoga how I feel it. Also biking of my beloved is very inspiring to keep progressing on this.
Last part I was dancing for about 20 minutes, not so fluent and juicy as I would like, but felt great as usually anyway. I feel that dancing is very healthy for me no matter how its going or if I like it a lot or juts a bit.
II) Then we was travelling a lot, first long car drive, then we went to city centre to check post-CHM markets and such, which included lots of walking and watching, I enjoyed being in a city as always, even its very exhausting, its also somehow always stimulating and in some way also inspiring. I found one tiny shop with original pottery works from local artist. Amazing pieces they have there, funny, beautiful, all sorts. Both me and my beloved bought gifts there.
That was it for today, it wasnt so little actually, I stopped somewhere after 19 when all was done and was happy to spend nice, cozy evening. Ohm mani padme hum.
čtvrtek 26. prosince 2013
26.12.2013 - second Christmas holiday
?? Weight. I was simply afraid to stamp on scale this morning after Christmas feasts...
I slept strange today, woke up in the middle of the night and could not sleep for several hours. And in the morning I woke up and even I tried to sleep out, my - much-smarter-then-me - body kicked me into morning exercises.
I) I did limited morning exercises. Did not full set, I felt like if I do full set in such winter-slumber-like time it just creates resistance in me and next day its harder to exercise. So I did shorter set.
Starting with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations with holds for 5-1 seconds, but I made only 5-3. In order to not push too hard I focused more on precise movement. I felt it really awesome, afterwards I felt like all my limbs are longer and feeling much better.
Then 10 minutes on stationary bike, 10 minutes 2nd level as intensive as I could. It was intensive indeed, but not over my borders today. I was very attentive to my body to not overdo, but keep on high intensity.
Last I was dancing for 10 minutes, just to move limbs in unstructured way, it felt good and right to do and it was fun too.
Lets see what day brings.... to be continued.
Well, today was very special day, because it was my saddest day in last couple of years and I think it was for some reason very valuable to live this. One of reasons why I think that is because afternoon we went for a walk into nature and I felt it so healing, this fresh air full of smell of forest, walking uphill to wonderful ruins of old theatre. It was great, I felt like it this walking in nature brings new life into my veins and I dont know if I could feel this in "normal" state.
This also helped me a lot with my mood in overall and later on me and my beloved spend very nice evening together. I even told story I made up at the spot, it was both fun, thrilling and challenging :)
Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept strange today, woke up in the middle of the night and could not sleep for several hours. And in the morning I woke up and even I tried to sleep out, my - much-smarter-then-me - body kicked me into morning exercises.
I) I did limited morning exercises. Did not full set, I felt like if I do full set in such winter-slumber-like time it just creates resistance in me and next day its harder to exercise. So I did shorter set.
Starting with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations with holds for 5-1 seconds, but I made only 5-3. In order to not push too hard I focused more on precise movement. I felt it really awesome, afterwards I felt like all my limbs are longer and feeling much better.
Then 10 minutes on stationary bike, 10 minutes 2nd level as intensive as I could. It was intensive indeed, but not over my borders today. I was very attentive to my body to not overdo, but keep on high intensity.
Last I was dancing for 10 minutes, just to move limbs in unstructured way, it felt good and right to do and it was fun too.
Lets see what day brings.... to be continued.
Well, today was very special day, because it was my saddest day in last couple of years and I think it was for some reason very valuable to live this. One of reasons why I think that is because afternoon we went for a walk into nature and I felt it so healing, this fresh air full of smell of forest, walking uphill to wonderful ruins of old theatre. It was great, I felt like it this walking in nature brings new life into my veins and I dont know if I could feel this in "normal" state.
This also helped me a lot with my mood in overall and later on me and my beloved spend very nice evening together. I even told story I made up at the spot, it was both fun, thrilling and challenging :)
Ohm mani padme hum.
25.12.2013 - first christmas holiday
?? Weight. There is no scale where we have been today morning.
I slept not well really and there wasnt place for morning exercises. Today was very heavy day emotionally. Only in the evening it changed with strong help of table games... :)
I really dont have much what to write, I was most of the day very closed to the world and in the evening I was happy to be able to open to enjoy few hours with my beloved in cozy christmasy atmophere. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept not well really and there wasnt place for morning exercises. Today was very heavy day emotionally. Only in the evening it changed with strong help of table games... :)
I really dont have much what to write, I was most of the day very closed to the world and in the evening I was happy to be able to open to enjoy few hours with my beloved in cozy christmasy atmophere. Ohm mani padme hum.
úterý 24. prosince 2013
24.12.2013 - Christmas
83kg " == " 3rd day in a row...
I slept very deep and long tonight, dont remember any dreams and even missed alarm and woke up long after sun raised. I did no morning exercises today, we had quite awesome exercise together with my beloved after woking up and I felt like there is no space for it today. We have quite full schedule.
Lets see what day will bring.... to be continued.
Well, Christmas was really nice, with family, singing, playing flute, lots of junk, but super tasty, homemade food and cookies. I felt this Christmas as one of most cozy, nice in my life. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept very deep and long tonight, dont remember any dreams and even missed alarm and woke up long after sun raised. I did no morning exercises today, we had quite awesome exercise together with my beloved after woking up and I felt like there is no space for it today. We have quite full schedule.
Lets see what day will bring.... to be continued.
Well, Christmas was really nice, with family, singing, playing flute, lots of junk, but super tasty, homemade food and cookies. I felt this Christmas as one of most cozy, nice in my life. Ohm mani padme hum.
23.12.2013 - cooking and familly
83kg " == "
I slept quite bad tonight I must say, dreamless with long interruptions where I could not sleep.
Morning was very hard, I did morning exercises, but it took me lot of power to do it.
I) Starting with Sun Salutations with holds 5-1 seconds. This part felt good, I felt nice to stretch and warm up whole body. Great start of the day as usually.
Then I was doing Burpees for 5 minutes - that went crazy, I did only like 15 reps.... I had big struggle past like 6th rep, dizziness and feelings of weakness. I have no idea what it caused.
3rd part I was doing ABS and core training. It went also very poor, I needed lots of rest and could do not much. Of course it did not made me happy, but it was how it was...
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. It went a bit better, but I felt also like moving on half-gas only...
Rest of the morning I was cooking - my first cookies and my first cake, with help of my beloved. It was for me very good experience, especially because for first time in my life I felt how great is to not need to ask if I may take or if its ok to give these cookies to somebody and so on. I felt fresh breeze of freedom in it, nice feeling I must say. And cookies are amazing :)
At the morning I had also strong inner process about something which made my interaction with others hard, but fortunately, afternoon we visited family and there it all somehow fade away and rest of the day was quite nice and pleasant. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept quite bad tonight I must say, dreamless with long interruptions where I could not sleep.
Morning was very hard, I did morning exercises, but it took me lot of power to do it.
I) Starting with Sun Salutations with holds 5-1 seconds. This part felt good, I felt nice to stretch and warm up whole body. Great start of the day as usually.
Then I was doing Burpees for 5 minutes - that went crazy, I did only like 15 reps.... I had big struggle past like 6th rep, dizziness and feelings of weakness. I have no idea what it caused.
3rd part I was doing ABS and core training. It went also very poor, I needed lots of rest and could do not much. Of course it did not made me happy, but it was how it was...
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. It went a bit better, but I felt also like moving on half-gas only...
Rest of the morning I was cooking - my first cookies and my first cake, with help of my beloved. It was for me very good experience, especially because for first time in my life I felt how great is to not need to ask if I may take or if its ok to give these cookies to somebody and so on. I felt fresh breeze of freedom in it, nice feeling I must say. And cookies are amazing :)
At the morning I had also strong inner process about something which made my interaction with others hard, but fortunately, afternoon we visited family and there it all somehow fade away and rest of the day was quite nice and pleasant. Ohm mani padme hum.
neděle 22. prosince 2013
22.12.2013 - cozy pre-CHM day
83kg " -- " yeah, but it can be juts a scale, i have feeling, that local scale show -1 kg :)
Else I slept v.well tonight, I woke up early and spend long time in bed in visualizing and preparing for exercises inside. I flt like I really have to do it today and I did.
I) Starting with Sun Salutations with holds 5-2 seconds. I focused on preciseness and it always takes a lot of time. But it was great warm up. I continued then with ABS and core exercises. It was again very difficult and I need lot of breaks, but I felt it a bit better then in last days anyway and I did much more exercises.
3rd block I was biking on stationary bike, 5 mins 2nd level, 5 mins 3rd level. It went surprisingly well, even it wasnt easy it was somehow great, cant really explain it, but I felt it very good :)
Last block I was dancing for about 15 minutes, it was fun today, enjoyed it a lot. And I had also 1 milestone broken today and it was 3 minutes in headstand, Im very happy about it, because it was about breaking psychical border and those are always hardest.
Continue....
Well, I dont remember so much anymore, sadly. I know I did no other exercises, but we had very nice sex couple of times which is more then good supplement.
I remember I had very nice feeling from today, cozy and loving, it was nice. Ohm mani padme hum.
Else I slept v.well tonight, I woke up early and spend long time in bed in visualizing and preparing for exercises inside. I flt like I really have to do it today and I did.
I) Starting with Sun Salutations with holds 5-2 seconds. I focused on preciseness and it always takes a lot of time. But it was great warm up. I continued then with ABS and core exercises. It was again very difficult and I need lot of breaks, but I felt it a bit better then in last days anyway and I did much more exercises.
3rd block I was biking on stationary bike, 5 mins 2nd level, 5 mins 3rd level. It went surprisingly well, even it wasnt easy it was somehow great, cant really explain it, but I felt it very good :)
Last block I was dancing for about 15 minutes, it was fun today, enjoyed it a lot. And I had also 1 milestone broken today and it was 3 minutes in headstand, Im very happy about it, because it was about breaking psychical border and those are always hardest.
Continue....
Well, I dont remember so much anymore, sadly. I know I did no other exercises, but we had very nice sex couple of times which is more then good supplement.
I remember I had very nice feeling from today, cozy and loving, it was nice. Ohm mani padme hum.
21.12.2013 - true darkest day - void
?? Weight. I slept good and long tonight. Dont remember any dreams.
Today I did no exrcises at all, I was also sleeping a lot and basically spend whole day in company of my beloved. We felt both exhausted for some reason and spend the day in supportive, relaxing atmosphere. I felt today as breaking point day where I felt very much motivated to change course of my life again into change and growth and also felt like I need to give myself time to cradle all this and let it grow in me so it can nourish me in upcoming months and shine on my path.
Only time will tell if I felt it right or it was just excuse, but so far, when i felt I need rest and not push too much, it showed up as good and working intuition.
In the evening we watched movie Perks of being a wallflower - very nice movie, recommending it.
Ohm mani padme hum.
Today I did no exrcises at all, I was also sleeping a lot and basically spend whole day in company of my beloved. We felt both exhausted for some reason and spend the day in supportive, relaxing atmosphere. I felt today as breaking point day where I felt very much motivated to change course of my life again into change and growth and also felt like I need to give myself time to cradle all this and let it grow in me so it can nourish me in upcoming months and shine on my path.
Only time will tell if I felt it right or it was just excuse, but so far, when i felt I need rest and not push too much, it showed up as good and working intuition.
In the evening we watched movie Perks of being a wallflower - very nice movie, recommending it.
Ohm mani padme hum.
20.12.2013 - last dy before CHM vacation
85,3kg - " + " its so frustrating, all the time getting weight, no matter what I eat or do, its still gaining all the bloody time when Im not with my beloved, so frustrating and demotivating,...
I felt very not nice in the morning, swollen, fat, clumsy.... long time since \i felt like this. but I did at least some morning exercises.
I) Started with 5 minutes warm up, 2 reps of SS with 5 second holds and some running with stretches. Then I tried 10 minutes of ABS and core practices. It went crazy, I had to take breaks almost whole time and it was very hard and painful to do almost anything. But I decided to give this space and time to this exercise even if I would do nothing at all and just sit.
Next I was dancing for about 30 minutes. It wasnt also easy, but better then previous, I felt like I ought that to myself and my body to move blood a bit and at times I had some joy as well.
Rest of the day I was preparing for upcoming long visit, buying stuff I needed, sorting everything, resting and watching movie. In the evening I was travelling till late hours. It was quite full day, I had no energy during the day for other exercises, I felt so down about this constantly growing weight. I know it will change and thats just momentary state, but today I could not manage these feelings. I also felt it a bit as part of december moods which are often not really high, this so much of dark is sure effecting me as well. Ohm mani padme hum.
I felt very not nice in the morning, swollen, fat, clumsy.... long time since \i felt like this. but I did at least some morning exercises.
I) Started with 5 minutes warm up, 2 reps of SS with 5 second holds and some running with stretches. Then I tried 10 minutes of ABS and core practices. It went crazy, I had to take breaks almost whole time and it was very hard and painful to do almost anything. But I decided to give this space and time to this exercise even if I would do nothing at all and just sit.
Next I was dancing for about 30 minutes. It wasnt also easy, but better then previous, I felt like I ought that to myself and my body to move blood a bit and at times I had some joy as well.
Rest of the day I was preparing for upcoming long visit, buying stuff I needed, sorting everything, resting and watching movie. In the evening I was travelling till late hours. It was quite full day, I had no energy during the day for other exercises, I felt so down about this constantly growing weight. I know it will change and thats just momentary state, but today I could not manage these feelings. I also felt it a bit as part of december moods which are often not really high, this so much of dark is sure effecting me as well. Ohm mani padme hum.
čtvrtek 19. prosince 2013
19.12.2013 - just another day... :)
84,4kg " += " Im not sure why Im still gaining weight, but I would love to know. However yesterday was heavy physical day, its often more weight next morning.
I slept well and LONG today.... I had dream and I remember that I though - its no way I forget this one... but... guess what. Anyway, I did no morning exercises today. I think I never felt so strong that I need to leave space to my body to recuperate, heal and grow like today morning and later too. Im looking forward for next exercises, but for now, my dear, great, strong, beautiful, sexy body needs rest :)
I) In the morning I visited one friend who have 2 months old baby girl, one of my very few christmas visits. Its somehow not easy for me to make social meetings in last months. But it was nice. Other thing what I realized was how I cant stand stench of cigarettes now. My friend went smoking and I followed him just to keep conversation going and it as so disgusting to smell and breath that smoke. I think one part of why I was smoking was to not feel this stench.... but its better to not smoke.
II) Afternoon I had a new client, nice treatment, Im curious if this client come again, it was last official client this year in my hometown.
Rest of the day was quite easy. I think I somehow prepared for upcoming christmas weeks where I will not be able to rest so much. In the evening I went to tantra course, but I did not come there in the end. I think I will quit this course, its so many things which bothers me on that school. I mean, obstacles are good, but I also think its important to difference obstacles and signs which tells "its not way which helps you grow". So I went for some pre-christmas shopping instead and had nice evening. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept well and LONG today.... I had dream and I remember that I though - its no way I forget this one... but... guess what. Anyway, I did no morning exercises today. I think I never felt so strong that I need to leave space to my body to recuperate, heal and grow like today morning and later too. Im looking forward for next exercises, but for now, my dear, great, strong, beautiful, sexy body needs rest :)
I) In the morning I visited one friend who have 2 months old baby girl, one of my very few christmas visits. Its somehow not easy for me to make social meetings in last months. But it was nice. Other thing what I realized was how I cant stand stench of cigarettes now. My friend went smoking and I followed him just to keep conversation going and it as so disgusting to smell and breath that smoke. I think one part of why I was smoking was to not feel this stench.... but its better to not smoke.
II) Afternoon I had a new client, nice treatment, Im curious if this client come again, it was last official client this year in my hometown.
Rest of the day was quite easy. I think I somehow prepared for upcoming christmas weeks where I will not be able to rest so much. In the evening I went to tantra course, but I did not come there in the end. I think I will quit this course, its so many things which bothers me on that school. I mean, obstacles are good, but I also think its important to difference obstacles and signs which tells "its not way which helps you grow". So I went for some pre-christmas shopping instead and had nice evening. Ohm mani padme hum.
středa 18. prosince 2013
18.12.2013 - satisfying day
84,2kg " ++ " arwrf, no comment
I slept well tonight and woke up long before light and refreshed and could not sleep anymore, but I did not wanted to anyway. And up for morning exercises! Its weird to exercise in such a deep night, but soon it turns again and day by day there will be light again in the early morning. Its nice to dance or do Sun Salutations with raising sun.
I) Starting with Sun Salutations today, holds 5-1 seconds. I was quite stiff after yesterday, but thats one of great gifts of SS - to move body into action and it did today as well. Good warm up. I continued then with 5 minutes consisted from running with stretches and shadow boxing. I really needed it and today decision to do it sure helped to move into shadow boxing properly. Anyway I decided to be even more flexible in morning exercises then before and do each day exactly what I feel I need, no schemes any more. I had very little before, but now its only length - 45 minutes basic block.
Well, then 10 minutes ABS and core practices. I did Barstarz mainly today and its still very not where it was, but its also motivation to work harder to get and overcome where I was. And today I felt for first time my middle part more precisely and solidly. Its great feeling.
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. It was good body-wise today, but I somehow could not entirely relax from patterns and dancing freely and fluently. But its maybe songs I got which I could not find way to dance onto. In any case it was good and joyful :)
II) Afternoon some Shiatsu work, not much to write about, maybe that its great to not have always topic to work on and just do what feels best, those are beautiful treatments to give often.
III) In the evening I went to Contact Improvisation class of woman who found my workshops and let me know about hers. It was very interesting to be on CI class, I was only leading workshop, jaming or just fooling around while dancing. It was first time when I could let myself to be led and do different techniques and moves. We did some reparation practices and in the end jam for about 10 minutes. It was great, I so love this kind of movement. I felt also eternally grateful for my practice in martial arts and ability to fall and be sure in movements, it makes CI so much more enjoyable and free. I though like - more Im sure in movements and can handle falls and strange positions, more Im free in CI dance. I was very happy to go there.
IV) After CI class I went shortly to meet with friends in one pub, I even drank a beer - I felt so thirsty for one as not for ages, but after CI class I felt like - its exactly something when its good moment. Just to explain - I dont drink alcohol at all almost. I dont mark myself as abtinent, because I sometimes drink, but VERY seldom. I dont even remember when I was last time in a pub.... but I dont miss it, thats for sure. Anyway, after such hard physical activity as CI class was one golden and it was also nice to meet teenage-time friends after long time again. Its a bit difficult company, but anyway its nice to see them from time to time.
So, full day today. Nice day with lots of different activities (work, exercise, learning and meeting with friends). Me likes :) Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept well tonight and woke up long before light and refreshed and could not sleep anymore, but I did not wanted to anyway. And up for morning exercises! Its weird to exercise in such a deep night, but soon it turns again and day by day there will be light again in the early morning. Its nice to dance or do Sun Salutations with raising sun.
I) Starting with Sun Salutations today, holds 5-1 seconds. I was quite stiff after yesterday, but thats one of great gifts of SS - to move body into action and it did today as well. Good warm up. I continued then with 5 minutes consisted from running with stretches and shadow boxing. I really needed it and today decision to do it sure helped to move into shadow boxing properly. Anyway I decided to be even more flexible in morning exercises then before and do each day exactly what I feel I need, no schemes any more. I had very little before, but now its only length - 45 minutes basic block.
Well, then 10 minutes ABS and core practices. I did Barstarz mainly today and its still very not where it was, but its also motivation to work harder to get and overcome where I was. And today I felt for first time my middle part more precisely and solidly. Its great feeling.
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. It was good body-wise today, but I somehow could not entirely relax from patterns and dancing freely and fluently. But its maybe songs I got which I could not find way to dance onto. In any case it was good and joyful :)
II) Afternoon some Shiatsu work, not much to write about, maybe that its great to not have always topic to work on and just do what feels best, those are beautiful treatments to give often.
III) In the evening I went to Contact Improvisation class of woman who found my workshops and let me know about hers. It was very interesting to be on CI class, I was only leading workshop, jaming or just fooling around while dancing. It was first time when I could let myself to be led and do different techniques and moves. We did some reparation practices and in the end jam for about 10 minutes. It was great, I so love this kind of movement. I felt also eternally grateful for my practice in martial arts and ability to fall and be sure in movements, it makes CI so much more enjoyable and free. I though like - more Im sure in movements and can handle falls and strange positions, more Im free in CI dance. I was very happy to go there.
IV) After CI class I went shortly to meet with friends in one pub, I even drank a beer - I felt so thirsty for one as not for ages, but after CI class I felt like - its exactly something when its good moment. Just to explain - I dont drink alcohol at all almost. I dont mark myself as abtinent, because I sometimes drink, but VERY seldom. I dont even remember when I was last time in a pub.... but I dont miss it, thats for sure. Anyway, after such hard physical activity as CI class was one golden and it was also nice to meet teenage-time friends after long time again. Its a bit difficult company, but anyway its nice to see them from time to time.
So, full day today. Nice day with lots of different activities (work, exercise, learning and meeting with friends). Me likes :) Ohm mani padme hum.
úterý 17. prosince 2013
17.12.2013 - lot sof small things, christmas duties and so on...
?? Weight. I had just little time in the morning so I did not morning exercises as well.
I slept well tho, very nice and had, I think, some dreams as well, but forgot them.
In the morning I went into city, office, buying Christmas presents and such and I choose routes to walk a bit, it was good, I need lots of walking, I even start to like it in some way :P
I) Afternoon I did exercise session - well, it was yoga, but not common session (as much has any session of yoga can be called "common" its always something every single time). It lasted about 50 minutes, first yoga warm-up and then new way Sun Salutations for about 18 minutes. How much reps I did? Only 2, I did 30 seconds holds in each position. Wow, that was something. Very interesting, during exercise I did not felt much muscle exhaustion or something , but now, after few hours, my body starts to hurt like after hard gym session. What was very great on this was that I had time to feel really into myself, to feel all parts, my position, where I could be more precise or use position more effectively. Fantastic I must say, v.demanding, and I think extremely healthy.
After this I was dancing for about 17 minutes. I used this dancing also to conscious work on myself, on my movements, consciousness in movements, harmony and balance in using sides of my body, and tried something new. But I had loads of fun as well :)
Rest of the day I was doing lots of communications, sorting gifts, shopping, relaxing and such. Pleasant day today, I did all I wanted and I feel how strong was this Sun Salutations, its still working a lot in me. Lets see tomorrow how it will develop :) Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept well tho, very nice and had, I think, some dreams as well, but forgot them.
In the morning I went into city, office, buying Christmas presents and such and I choose routes to walk a bit, it was good, I need lots of walking, I even start to like it in some way :P
I) Afternoon I did exercise session - well, it was yoga, but not common session (as much has any session of yoga can be called "common" its always something every single time). It lasted about 50 minutes, first yoga warm-up and then new way Sun Salutations for about 18 minutes. How much reps I did? Only 2, I did 30 seconds holds in each position. Wow, that was something. Very interesting, during exercise I did not felt much muscle exhaustion or something , but now, after few hours, my body starts to hurt like after hard gym session. What was very great on this was that I had time to feel really into myself, to feel all parts, my position, where I could be more precise or use position more effectively. Fantastic I must say, v.demanding, and I think extremely healthy.
After this I was dancing for about 17 minutes. I used this dancing also to conscious work on myself, on my movements, consciousness in movements, harmony and balance in using sides of my body, and tried something new. But I had loads of fun as well :)
Rest of the day I was doing lots of communications, sorting gifts, shopping, relaxing and such. Pleasant day today, I did all I wanted and I feel how strong was this Sun Salutations, its still working a lot in me. Lets see tomorrow how it will develop :) Ohm mani padme hum.
16.12.2013 - and back to the light again
82,8kg " - " again 1kg less, well, my beloveds job is her passion and her nutrition is simply the best I ever met.
I slept well tonight, I felt like I finally catch up previous days a bit. And in the morning up for morning exercises.
I) Starting today with mix of Sun Salutations, old way, dynamic way, new way, holds... I did as I felt I need in given moment, I was quite stiff so I wanted to be a bit flexible and dont limit myself. It was good decision and in the end I felt both warmed up and oiled for the next.
I continued with 5 minutes of Burpees, it was hard and I had to really push myself, but it wasnt so hard to push myself, because it was... in some way fun. And alarm rung on 34th rep, getting better again. I still feel general stiffness in my body and that Im slow. So I try slowly to speed up again.
Then ABS and core practices. Mix of exercises, dynamic, static, as I felt it. But man.... it was so hard, Im not sure if its because of my 3rd chakra atm, but I feel my core is in very bad shape. But well.... best way to improve it is yoga and these ABS and core exercises so.. thats what I do :)
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. It was first very hard, because of stiffness from previous, but with time it get better and in the end I was enjoying it quite a lot. Great as ever. I really feel its very important for me to do this bit of dancing every day, very healthy.
I did not other regular exercises today, but we had very nice sex with my beloved, both gentle and more raw. After long time I was actually swept a lot, but, why I write about it, I realized one thing. My part who wants me dead also wont allow me to be more physically active during sex, its not about some crazy rough sex or something, just to be more bold in positions and experimenting in body moves and such. And its probably happening, because there is so much live energy in that. I feel it as another step to found out whats the problem and what is that part which wants me to be sedated and gray.
And in the afternoon long travel again. And at home relax while flat was heating up from 14°C :) Great day today, very nice, very loving and deep. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept well tonight, I felt like I finally catch up previous days a bit. And in the morning up for morning exercises.
I) Starting today with mix of Sun Salutations, old way, dynamic way, new way, holds... I did as I felt I need in given moment, I was quite stiff so I wanted to be a bit flexible and dont limit myself. It was good decision and in the end I felt both warmed up and oiled for the next.
I continued with 5 minutes of Burpees, it was hard and I had to really push myself, but it wasnt so hard to push myself, because it was... in some way fun. And alarm rung on 34th rep, getting better again. I still feel general stiffness in my body and that Im slow. So I try slowly to speed up again.
Then ABS and core practices. Mix of exercises, dynamic, static, as I felt it. But man.... it was so hard, Im not sure if its because of my 3rd chakra atm, but I feel my core is in very bad shape. But well.... best way to improve it is yoga and these ABS and core exercises so.. thats what I do :)
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. It was first very hard, because of stiffness from previous, but with time it get better and in the end I was enjoying it quite a lot. Great as ever. I really feel its very important for me to do this bit of dancing every day, very healthy.
I did not other regular exercises today, but we had very nice sex with my beloved, both gentle and more raw. After long time I was actually swept a lot, but, why I write about it, I realized one thing. My part who wants me dead also wont allow me to be more physically active during sex, its not about some crazy rough sex or something, just to be more bold in positions and experimenting in body moves and such. And its probably happening, because there is so much live energy in that. I feel it as another step to found out whats the problem and what is that part which wants me to be sedated and gray.
And in the afternoon long travel again. And at home relax while flat was heating up from 14°C :) Great day today, very nice, very loving and deep. Ohm mani padme hum.
neděle 15. prosince 2013
15.12.2013 - a bit more on a dead side again
83,8kg " - " a bit more again, its good its going down a bit, December is really crazy month on weight, I dont know if its because naturally its time to store some energy for winter times, but Im both very hungry all the time and everything seems to go straight into fat...
Else I slept better tonight and had very interesting dream, unfortunately I forgot about what... I just remember general feeling from it. And in the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) Starting with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations. Holds from 5-1 second, good as ever.. and necessary as well. My body really needed it. Then 10 minutes of ABS and core training, I did tried alternation v-sits and yoga v-sit again, but could not do it properly. I kicked my butt to do it even it was almost impossible how it was painful and how sick I felt, but I want my core strong and how it is now its not what I feel all right really. So it was very rich.
Then 10 minutes of biking on stationary bike. First 5:30 on second level and then 4:30 on third level (I know its not telling you anything, its note for me mainly for future reference). It was very hard, but I felt it important and it was good to do it.
Last part I was dancing for about 15 minutes. First it was crazy hard after previous exercises and it took me long till I could dance normally, but I enjoyed it anyway, it was nice. Not best dancing ever, but nice and joyful at times :)
I would also like to mention that in additional exercises I did today for first time 2:30 long headstand (my beloved told me afterwards it was in regular time almost 3 minutes). Im happy how it develops, Im more stable, easy and conscious during headstand and I feel it important, even I could not tell you why.
Else I did today no other exercises. It was strange day today, we got again into quite core-deep argument and it deaden me again. It feels somehow so strange. I know it was important what we argued about, but at the same time I felt it so unnecessary to cut so deep into each other....
Well, tomorrow brighter evening. Ohm mani padme hum.
Else I slept better tonight and had very interesting dream, unfortunately I forgot about what... I just remember general feeling from it. And in the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) Starting with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations. Holds from 5-1 second, good as ever.. and necessary as well. My body really needed it. Then 10 minutes of ABS and core training, I did tried alternation v-sits and yoga v-sit again, but could not do it properly. I kicked my butt to do it even it was almost impossible how it was painful and how sick I felt, but I want my core strong and how it is now its not what I feel all right really. So it was very rich.
Then 10 minutes of biking on stationary bike. First 5:30 on second level and then 4:30 on third level (I know its not telling you anything, its note for me mainly for future reference). It was very hard, but I felt it important and it was good to do it.
Last part I was dancing for about 15 minutes. First it was crazy hard after previous exercises and it took me long till I could dance normally, but I enjoyed it anyway, it was nice. Not best dancing ever, but nice and joyful at times :)
I would also like to mention that in additional exercises I did today for first time 2:30 long headstand (my beloved told me afterwards it was in regular time almost 3 minutes). Im happy how it develops, Im more stable, easy and conscious during headstand and I feel it important, even I could not tell you why.
Else I did today no other exercises. It was strange day today, we got again into quite core-deep argument and it deaden me again. It feels somehow so strange. I know it was important what we argued about, but at the same time I felt it so unnecessary to cut so deep into each other....
Well, tomorrow brighter evening. Ohm mani padme hum.
sobota 14. prosince 2013
14.12.2013 - relax and bit of work
84,2kg " - " as usually after first day with my beloved, good love making is best in flushing bad stuff from body.
I did not slept so well because of too soft bed, but it was nice because of sleeping close to my beloved. From time to time its really nice to feel her for whole night, even when its not so comfy physically :)
I) Afternoon I had a client, today it was interesting treatment, because I did one of longest treatments in last months and I felt it v.important this more complex care. It was nice to feel this again after some time.
Sadly for the rest of the day I cant write about any other exercises, but I wanted to take a rest, its good opportunity when Im here, to relax everything, give space to recuperate and such. Its as important as exercises itself. And today was really nice day in very close, nice atmosphere. Ohm mani padme hum.
I did not slept so well because of too soft bed, but it was nice because of sleeping close to my beloved. From time to time its really nice to feel her for whole night, even when its not so comfy physically :)
I) Afternoon I had a client, today it was interesting treatment, because I did one of longest treatments in last months and I felt it v.important this more complex care. It was nice to feel this again after some time.
Sadly for the rest of the day I cant write about any other exercises, but I wanted to take a rest, its good opportunity when Im here, to relax everything, give space to recuperate and such. Its as important as exercises itself. And today was really nice day in very close, nice atmosphere. Ohm mani padme hum.
13.12.2013 - travelling and loving
?? Weight.
I slept just like 4 hours or something, so not so great and I was travelling in the morning
so I did not morning exercises.
I) Afternoon I did short exercises for about 35 minutes. First yoga warm up for 10 minutes then I did for first time new way Sun Salutations with long holds in positions - 20 second in each position. That was quite interesting experience I must say. I was swept quite and that 1 rep on each side took about 12 minutes total. But it felt v.energizing really. I also used these long holds for very precise exercise, to take time to position correctly and feel deeper into every position.
Then I was dancing for about 8 minutes which felt important after Sun Salutations - to move whatever needs to be moved. And last I did headstand, today I made record with 2 minutes and 5 seconds (my counting, not outside clock of any form). It was and felt also very powerful.
And I felt so much alive afterwards, that I was happy to share these wonderful feelings in wonderful lovemaking. One of most intimate, deep and pleasant lovemaking in last months, very nice :3
Else I did not much today, I needed to sleep out short nigh sleep and we spend lots of time together with my beloved in nice, close contact. It was beautiful, cozy relaxing day today :) Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept just like 4 hours or something, so not so great and I was travelling in the morning
so I did not morning exercises.
I) Afternoon I did short exercises for about 35 minutes. First yoga warm up for 10 minutes then I did for first time new way Sun Salutations with long holds in positions - 20 second in each position. That was quite interesting experience I must say. I was swept quite and that 1 rep on each side took about 12 minutes total. But it felt v.energizing really. I also used these long holds for very precise exercise, to take time to position correctly and feel deeper into every position.
Then I was dancing for about 8 minutes which felt important after Sun Salutations - to move whatever needs to be moved. And last I did headstand, today I made record with 2 minutes and 5 seconds (my counting, not outside clock of any form). It was and felt also very powerful.
And I felt so much alive afterwards, that I was happy to share these wonderful feelings in wonderful lovemaking. One of most intimate, deep and pleasant lovemaking in last months, very nice :3
Else I did not much today, I needed to sleep out short nigh sleep and we spend lots of time together with my beloved in nice, close contact. It was beautiful, cozy relaxing day today :) Ohm mani padme hum.
středa 11. prosince 2013
12.12.2013 - resistance to growth
85,2kg " + " a bit more again, oh well, I hoped that no sweets will help, but seems that lots of fruits and vegies also dont exactly lower weight. Or my metabolism is too slow atm, who know.
Else I slept well and I felt it very nourishing, even I slept like 5 hours. And in the morning hurray for morning exercises.
I) Starting with Sun Salutations with holds for 5-1 seconds. I still felt Tuesday massage... was hard, but I kept preciseness as much as possible, crazy hard I would say, to keep precise positions in pain and not fly away, but opposite stay and correct position, breath and count time. Demanding, but sure great exercise.
Then 5 minutes of Burpees. Its funny I dont any more remember how much I did, I think alarm rung on 32th rep, but Im not sure. Anyway, it went better then before and I felt it better as well and Im happy about it :)
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core training, today Barstarz set. Oh man, it was hell... I did what I could and some extra stuff, but needed lot of rest and breaks. But it was for sure on top of what I could do. My back and core needs this very much.
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. It was again quite hard and I had some struggle, but fortunately random mix gave me both fast songs to move and chillout songs to relax before another faster song. And I had also quite fun and joy during some songs. It was nice.
Despite how it may sound what I wrote, I feel good. I feel my body very strong and well formed and functioning and I really love being in my body. Its great feeling.
II) Afternoon I had a client, quite difficult one. I felt like I have to give lots of energy from myself for giving proper treatment. But it was good treatment energy-wise, just challenging.
III) In the evening I went to tantra course. I had very hard times to go there, so much resistance in me. But agaisnt all ods I felt its good to go there and in the end I did. Its happening in new place, better fitting I would say and nice place too. We had theory about holograms, which is big part of tantra - hologram is something where each, no matter how small part holds picture of whole thing and this connection between things we had as a class today. I know all this stuff so it was kind of boring, but they also said one important thing. And it was - because of this holographic connection, one cant heal himself totally, one needs to help heal others too, else he/she cant be healed. Because sickness in society is, in some way, reflection of one him/herself. Interesting theory for me. Well and we also did yoga which was great. And this new place is like 20 minutes by foot from my flat, which is MUCH closer then old place which is also cool :)
Well, it took me good 2 hours after course to fell asleep, but it was fine. Great day today. Ohm mani padme hum.
Else I slept well and I felt it very nourishing, even I slept like 5 hours. And in the morning hurray for morning exercises.
I) Starting with Sun Salutations with holds for 5-1 seconds. I still felt Tuesday massage... was hard, but I kept preciseness as much as possible, crazy hard I would say, to keep precise positions in pain and not fly away, but opposite stay and correct position, breath and count time. Demanding, but sure great exercise.
Then 5 minutes of Burpees. Its funny I dont any more remember how much I did, I think alarm rung on 32th rep, but Im not sure. Anyway, it went better then before and I felt it better as well and Im happy about it :)
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core training, today Barstarz set. Oh man, it was hell... I did what I could and some extra stuff, but needed lot of rest and breaks. But it was for sure on top of what I could do. My back and core needs this very much.
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. It was again quite hard and I had some struggle, but fortunately random mix gave me both fast songs to move and chillout songs to relax before another faster song. And I had also quite fun and joy during some songs. It was nice.
Despite how it may sound what I wrote, I feel good. I feel my body very strong and well formed and functioning and I really love being in my body. Its great feeling.
II) Afternoon I had a client, quite difficult one. I felt like I have to give lots of energy from myself for giving proper treatment. But it was good treatment energy-wise, just challenging.
III) In the evening I went to tantra course. I had very hard times to go there, so much resistance in me. But agaisnt all ods I felt its good to go there and in the end I did. Its happening in new place, better fitting I would say and nice place too. We had theory about holograms, which is big part of tantra - hologram is something where each, no matter how small part holds picture of whole thing and this connection between things we had as a class today. I know all this stuff so it was kind of boring, but they also said one important thing. And it was - because of this holographic connection, one cant heal himself totally, one needs to help heal others too, else he/she cant be healed. Because sickness in society is, in some way, reflection of one him/herself. Interesting theory for me. Well and we also did yoga which was great. And this new place is like 20 minutes by foot from my flat, which is MUCH closer then old place which is also cool :)
Well, it took me good 2 hours after course to fell asleep, but it was fine. Great day today. Ohm mani padme hum.
11.12.2013 - work from dusk till dawn
85kg " - " a bit less, but better then nothing... 2nd day without sweets
Else I slept long and good tonight, really long. I have mild feeling I had dream as well, but dont remember anything. And in the lat morning up for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with 5 minutes warm up, first 1 rep of new way Sun Salutation on each side with 5 seconds hold in each position, I though it will be better stretch then 6 fat ones with cold body. I think I was right. Then some running with stretches of neck and bit of shadowboxing.
After warm up I did 10 minutes of ABS and core training. I did 4 rounds of TM core WO... wow, it was nasty, I had to use all my resources to make it, since I gained weight and was not practising properly - its much harder, but thats the price. I was at the edge and I felt it very good. I felt like I simply have to fucking do it or blame myself like an idiot. Those motivation videos and speeches helped me a lot I would say - helped me to realize, that I really dont want to be dead and in order to be alive I have to LIVE and pain and struggle are very good pills to support aliveness.
Then I was dancing for about 30 minutes. It was again a bit of struggle and it wasnt easy, but I just tried to have fun and move whatever my body needed to move. It was nice.
II) Afternoon I had couple of clients. I felt it great, both treatments, I tried to be really fair and give my clients all I could and not hold anything for myself. Im lately more bold to really say whatever I feel about treatments. Even I can be wrong, but I feel I more harm clients if I hold something what comes to me during treatment and even if they would got pissed of and not come any more... its for them, not for me.
Else I had good, relaxed day, I realized that yesterday massage learned me lots of things, but did not helped my body and I think I will stop cooperation with this college, dont feel that this kind of treatment is something what I need. On more personal note, today I finished my legendary cloak in WoW and my soul is easy again. Its interesting, but I realized its one of my big burdens I had - I never finished anything properly in WoW in all those 5 or so years Im playing it (without breaks) and now when I finally finished something really legendary I feel like Im in peace again and can just wait for next expansion :)
Well, great day today! Ohm mani padme hum.
Else I slept long and good tonight, really long. I have mild feeling I had dream as well, but dont remember anything. And in the lat morning up for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with 5 minutes warm up, first 1 rep of new way Sun Salutation on each side with 5 seconds hold in each position, I though it will be better stretch then 6 fat ones with cold body. I think I was right. Then some running with stretches of neck and bit of shadowboxing.
After warm up I did 10 minutes of ABS and core training. I did 4 rounds of TM core WO... wow, it was nasty, I had to use all my resources to make it, since I gained weight and was not practising properly - its much harder, but thats the price. I was at the edge and I felt it very good. I felt like I simply have to fucking do it or blame myself like an idiot. Those motivation videos and speeches helped me a lot I would say - helped me to realize, that I really dont want to be dead and in order to be alive I have to LIVE and pain and struggle are very good pills to support aliveness.
Then I was dancing for about 30 minutes. It was again a bit of struggle and it wasnt easy, but I just tried to have fun and move whatever my body needed to move. It was nice.
II) Afternoon I had couple of clients. I felt it great, both treatments, I tried to be really fair and give my clients all I could and not hold anything for myself. Im lately more bold to really say whatever I feel about treatments. Even I can be wrong, but I feel I more harm clients if I hold something what comes to me during treatment and even if they would got pissed of and not come any more... its for them, not for me.
Else I had good, relaxed day, I realized that yesterday massage learned me lots of things, but did not helped my body and I think I will stop cooperation with this college, dont feel that this kind of treatment is something what I need. On more personal note, today I finished my legendary cloak in WoW and my soul is easy again. Its interesting, but I realized its one of my big burdens I had - I never finished anything properly in WoW in all those 5 or so years Im playing it (without breaks) and now when I finally finished something really legendary I feel like Im in peace again and can just wait for next expansion :)
Well, great day today! Ohm mani padme hum.
úterý 10. prosince 2013
10.12.2013 - some new experiences
85,3kg " ++ " Crazy, so much more again, its all mind, its not possible to gain so much each day normally.
Else I slept well and good and I had a dream, but memory of that dream went faster away then my consciousness was returning to the body. And in the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) First I did Sun Salutations, but today in dynamic way and old-way SS just with alternating sides and with focus on precision. It was rich I must say, good start of the day. Then I continued with Kata1, after such a long time it did not went so good, but anyway I did 10 reps on each side, which I saw as awesome. But I felt like Im not so flexible yet, tho Im working on it, am I not... :)
3rd block I did ABS practices for 10 minutes, originally wanted to do alternating 30 situps/yoga v-sit, but after first v-sit I had so much pain in muscles that I could not continue. So I did mix of what I could and moved pain out a bit and in the end continued with 30 situps and about 30 seconds long v-sit. It was very rich.... good.
Last I was dancing for about 15 minutes. That was fun today, really enjoyed it, beautiful.
II) Later in the morning I had a friend visiting me to give me massage (exchange massage but today I was receiving). It was mix of classic and thai massage and at times it was v.painful and I felt like is this way of massaging pointless for me - yes, there is release, but only because I learn to relax in pain, but I was never more relaxed then before massaging on that place, just learned how to relax body when I felt pain. No point in that. Only good feeling is maybe that I "made to survive the pain". Not mine cup of tea. However she did also thai massage with stretching meridians and legs and such and that I felt very good and healthy. It was interesting, because I felt like pain is same as before, but in this case I felt like its part of healing, not juts plain, useless pain. But I was happy to have a massage, I needed 1 very much.
III) Afternoon another round of negotiations about new place for massaging. its important thing in my life, but I dont know if it will work out yet. Lets see.
And that was it for today. Some new things are coming into my life. One of them was e-mail from woman who do Contact Improvisation in Brno, which is GREAT because I want for long time something like that but could not find it, and it come itself, simply great :) Ohm mani padme hum.
Else I slept well and good and I had a dream, but memory of that dream went faster away then my consciousness was returning to the body. And in the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) First I did Sun Salutations, but today in dynamic way and old-way SS just with alternating sides and with focus on precision. It was rich I must say, good start of the day. Then I continued with Kata1, after such a long time it did not went so good, but anyway I did 10 reps on each side, which I saw as awesome. But I felt like Im not so flexible yet, tho Im working on it, am I not... :)
3rd block I did ABS practices for 10 minutes, originally wanted to do alternating 30 situps/yoga v-sit, but after first v-sit I had so much pain in muscles that I could not continue. So I did mix of what I could and moved pain out a bit and in the end continued with 30 situps and about 30 seconds long v-sit. It was very rich.... good.
Last I was dancing for about 15 minutes. That was fun today, really enjoyed it, beautiful.
II) Later in the morning I had a friend visiting me to give me massage (exchange massage but today I was receiving). It was mix of classic and thai massage and at times it was v.painful and I felt like is this way of massaging pointless for me - yes, there is release, but only because I learn to relax in pain, but I was never more relaxed then before massaging on that place, just learned how to relax body when I felt pain. No point in that. Only good feeling is maybe that I "made to survive the pain". Not mine cup of tea. However she did also thai massage with stretching meridians and legs and such and that I felt very good and healthy. It was interesting, because I felt like pain is same as before, but in this case I felt like its part of healing, not juts plain, useless pain. But I was happy to have a massage, I needed 1 very much.
III) Afternoon another round of negotiations about new place for massaging. its important thing in my life, but I dont know if it will work out yet. Lets see.
And that was it for today. Some new things are coming into my life. One of them was e-mail from woman who do Contact Improvisation in Brno, which is GREAT because I want for long time something like that but could not find it, and it come itself, simply great :) Ohm mani padme hum.
10.12.2013 - restart
84,4kg " ++ " yeah, Im simply there right now and I will spend at least 2 months getting back where I was 2 weeks ago, I have to simply swallow this bitter pill and start working again. AAAARGGGG makes me crazy, 2 bloody weeks and half of year of work is gone.
I slept out today again and it was nice. And in the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) Starting with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations, precise execution of new way SS,this having biceps on ears is quite crazy I must say. My body have lots to learn in this way. It makes whole exercise longer, but its fine, precision is very important. I also realized, that it dosnt only helps body, but more precise I try to be, more present I am during exercise. Its helping.
Then 5 minutes of Burpees, was nasty, but I think I did about 27 of em. Not much, but I was happy I could do it those 5 minutes, its anyway most important, that I did this whole exercise then performance. But anyway I try to do as much on edge as possible.
After Burpees I did 10 minutes of ABS and core practices, random mix. Both dynamic and static exercises, it was very rich, I felt my BAS real good for the rest of the day, means I did what I could, its always good feeling :)
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. Today it was fun, enjoyed it quite, seems Im slowly starting to work again properly. Lets see in next days.
II) Afternoon I was at healer for therapy. It was good, even I felt like I need more deeper therapy, because I see and realize lots of things myself, but some things are so deep and hidden, that I dont see them. But this guy is really good and he helped me to realize very important thing. My injury and pain in back maybe originates from inner conflict between me wanting to be alive and other part which tries to be common and grey. And more I want to be alive, more that other part want to make me just surviving. I have to explore this part which makes me dead, understand that part and heal this. Maybe one of the ways will be to be more sensitive to my needs and stand for them. I would like to thank my friend who gave me this therapy, it was v.helpful. Thank you, my friend.
For the rest of day I did no other exercises, I have had a client, but she postponed so I spend whole day being on comp listening to motivation speeches on youtube. It wasnt so easy to listen to it, because of my state which dosnt want to be disturbed and start working on me again, but I did continued for several hours and I felt like it did something. Maybe it dosnt seems so, but I feel today way important day for me. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept out today again and it was nice. And in the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) Starting with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations, precise execution of new way SS,this having biceps on ears is quite crazy I must say. My body have lots to learn in this way. It makes whole exercise longer, but its fine, precision is very important. I also realized, that it dosnt only helps body, but more precise I try to be, more present I am during exercise. Its helping.
Then 5 minutes of Burpees, was nasty, but I think I did about 27 of em. Not much, but I was happy I could do it those 5 minutes, its anyway most important, that I did this whole exercise then performance. But anyway I try to do as much on edge as possible.
After Burpees I did 10 minutes of ABS and core practices, random mix. Both dynamic and static exercises, it was very rich, I felt my BAS real good for the rest of the day, means I did what I could, its always good feeling :)
Last I was dancing for about 20 minutes. Today it was fun, enjoyed it quite, seems Im slowly starting to work again properly. Lets see in next days.
II) Afternoon I was at healer for therapy. It was good, even I felt like I need more deeper therapy, because I see and realize lots of things myself, but some things are so deep and hidden, that I dont see them. But this guy is really good and he helped me to realize very important thing. My injury and pain in back maybe originates from inner conflict between me wanting to be alive and other part which tries to be common and grey. And more I want to be alive, more that other part want to make me just surviving. I have to explore this part which makes me dead, understand that part and heal this. Maybe one of the ways will be to be more sensitive to my needs and stand for them. I would like to thank my friend who gave me this therapy, it was v.helpful. Thank you, my friend.
For the rest of day I did no other exercises, I have had a client, but she postponed so I spend whole day being on comp listening to motivation speeches on youtube. It wasnt so easy to listen to it, because of my state which dosnt want to be disturbed and start working on me again, but I did continued for several hours and I felt like it did something. Maybe it dosnt seems so, but I feel today way important day for me. Ohm mani padme hum.
8.12.2013 - void
?? Weight. Today I dont have even something to write. Literally.. I did absolutely nothing today, just being, eating, breathing, having fun on computer.
Since I woke up I was unable to do any exercises. Even afternoon I tried actually, did 5 minutes of dynamic warm up and started with Burpees to realize, that its simply no way.
Wont waste readers time with dull infos so I stop here, real winter slumber day. Ohm mani padme hum.
Since I woke up I was unable to do any exercises. Even afternoon I tried actually, did 5 minutes of dynamic warm up and started with Burpees to realize, that its simply no way.
Wont waste readers time with dull infos so I stop here, real winter slumber day. Ohm mani padme hum.
sobota 7. prosince 2013
7.12.2013 - Petr's day
83,3kg " -- " cant comment, but it was nice to see :)
I slept well tonight, very long, 9 hours or something. It was nice to sleep out. And also to have calm sleep. And in the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) Starting today with 15 minutes of Sun Salutations. I did today completely yoga-style, slowly, dynamically, very precisely, no rush, but precise steady exercise. It was very demanding, I felt whole body very much used and exhausted after those 15 minutes. I did again 5-1 but in this pace it took whole 15 minutes. But I can say that my body is getting slowly used to new positions and is adapting to it. Thats one of things I feel great on yoga - no matter if its easy or not, just keep doing it with conscious, present focus simply makes body to adjust and find the way.
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core practices. It went very poorly today, but I wasnt feeling it bad. I was not exercising properly for long time so it was natural, that it wasnt stellar today. I did mix of exercises, what I could do, after those 10 minutes I could not stand up for how it was rich. Thats it folks - no matter how it may look, its always important to be on top of whats possible. Strong words after so many days of lazying, but truth to be said - after my accident, back is totally full healthy now and I felt absolutely no signs of injury even in most demanding positions. What more, I feel my back more flexible and healthy then ever. I think if I would push it and exercise through pain, it would not be like this.
Last thing I was dancing for about 20 minutes. It wasnt so easy, but also not so crazy like in last days. I could even enjoy dancing in some parts again. But Im still quite stiff, both mentally and physically while dancing. I feel that only cure to this is - dancing :)
II) Afternoon I did yoga, nothing big, just 8 asanas, but it was sooo great. First I felt very strongly that I want to do yoga. Second, since first asana I felt like "yeah, thats the right thing to do right now". I found out that my back is not stretched as much as before incident, but it works better then before incidet. I dont have couple of small pains I had before (too small and irregular to not exercise because of them). I felt v.energized and strengthened after exercising, even for several hours afterwards. V.nice.
Rest of the day I was playing with and on computer. I was also listening to couple of videos from Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters) - its something on it. I was happily enjoying v.precious day just for myself - Petr's day :) V.precious and Im v.grateful for this day. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept well tonight, very long, 9 hours or something. It was nice to sleep out. And also to have calm sleep. And in the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) Starting today with 15 minutes of Sun Salutations. I did today completely yoga-style, slowly, dynamically, very precisely, no rush, but precise steady exercise. It was very demanding, I felt whole body very much used and exhausted after those 15 minutes. I did again 5-1 but in this pace it took whole 15 minutes. But I can say that my body is getting slowly used to new positions and is adapting to it. Thats one of things I feel great on yoga - no matter if its easy or not, just keep doing it with conscious, present focus simply makes body to adjust and find the way.
Then 10 minutes of ABS and core practices. It went very poorly today, but I wasnt feeling it bad. I was not exercising properly for long time so it was natural, that it wasnt stellar today. I did mix of exercises, what I could do, after those 10 minutes I could not stand up for how it was rich. Thats it folks - no matter how it may look, its always important to be on top of whats possible. Strong words after so many days of lazying, but truth to be said - after my accident, back is totally full healthy now and I felt absolutely no signs of injury even in most demanding positions. What more, I feel my back more flexible and healthy then ever. I think if I would push it and exercise through pain, it would not be like this.
Last thing I was dancing for about 20 minutes. It wasnt so easy, but also not so crazy like in last days. I could even enjoy dancing in some parts again. But Im still quite stiff, both mentally and physically while dancing. I feel that only cure to this is - dancing :)
II) Afternoon I did yoga, nothing big, just 8 asanas, but it was sooo great. First I felt very strongly that I want to do yoga. Second, since first asana I felt like "yeah, thats the right thing to do right now". I found out that my back is not stretched as much as before incident, but it works better then before incidet. I dont have couple of small pains I had before (too small and irregular to not exercise because of them). I felt v.energized and strengthened after exercising, even for several hours afterwards. V.nice.
Rest of the day I was playing with and on computer. I was also listening to couple of videos from Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters) - its something on it. I was happily enjoying v.precious day just for myself - Petr's day :) V.precious and Im v.grateful for this day. Ohm mani padme hum.
pátek 6. prosince 2013
6.12.2013 - IT day
84,9kg " +++" Ohm my god... it was shock today at the weight, its crazy how fast Im getting weight, its 4 kg in a week or something. And I dont know how to find inner power to stop it right now. This winter slumber mood makes me crazy.
Else I slept well tonight, dont remember any dreams. And in the morning I did went for at least mini morning exercise, because I had again early visit today.
I) Doing exactly same thing like yesterday, 10 minutes of new way Sun Salutations. But today I remembered to focus on fingers and hands since beginning plus focus on hands in back-bend phase to have biceps on ears. Both of these are strong updates and are v.difficult for me. But Im happy to have something to work on. Then I was dancing for 10 minutes to move it all and as usually it felt v.needed and healthy.
II) Later in the morning friend come to visit me and for exchange massage, where I was giving this time. I t was very important meeting for me, because thanks to this visit I could see in what state I really am - closed, touchy, judgy... it was important to see that.
Rest of the day I wa playing IT guy while instaling new hardisk both mechanically and software-wise, reinstalling system ,downloading new versions of everyhting, reorganizing stuff and so on, well, it took rest of the day.
Today was so strange day, I feel again not well and down, and without energy. Its good that tomorrow is a new day and I can start again. Ohm mani padme hum.
Else I slept well tonight, dont remember any dreams. And in the morning I did went for at least mini morning exercise, because I had again early visit today.
I) Doing exactly same thing like yesterday, 10 minutes of new way Sun Salutations. But today I remembered to focus on fingers and hands since beginning plus focus on hands in back-bend phase to have biceps on ears. Both of these are strong updates and are v.difficult for me. But Im happy to have something to work on. Then I was dancing for 10 minutes to move it all and as usually it felt v.needed and healthy.
II) Later in the morning friend come to visit me and for exchange massage, where I was giving this time. I t was very important meeting for me, because thanks to this visit I could see in what state I really am - closed, touchy, judgy... it was important to see that.
Rest of the day I wa playing IT guy while instaling new hardisk both mechanically and software-wise, reinstalling system ,downloading new versions of everyhting, reorganizing stuff and so on, well, it took rest of the day.
Today was so strange day, I feel again not well and down, and without energy. Its good that tomorrow is a new day and I can start again. Ohm mani padme hum.
5.12.2013 - a bit of fresh wind
?? Weight.
I slept more tonight, went sleep early and woke up around 7. I had no time to make full morning exercise before client, but I did at least mini version.
I) Started morning exercise with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations. 5-1 second holds in position. In second half I paid more attention to precision and positioned hands precisely with index fingers pointing in front while palms are on the ground. It changes a lot I must say, my whole left hand feels like tortured as its not used for this. Interesting.
Then I was 10 minutes dancing. Not much to write about it, it was mainly for health and it was great. Dancing these days on electro swing mixes on youtube and its good music for dancing like this :)
II) In the morning and afternoon I had clients and I was happy about it, man and woman so again nice balance in male/female energy. And I also felt I can really be helpful for those clients as guidance in theyr lives. Its good to feel that my work is worth something for other people.
Else I did nothing significant. I felt great this morning exercise, because I felt fresh wind into exercising and felt this excitement Im missing lately. Also work helped a lot. I hope to get from this winter-slumber mood soon, its half-dead state and I dont want to live just on half. So it was nice today. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept more tonight, went sleep early and woke up around 7. I had no time to make full morning exercise before client, but I did at least mini version.
I) Started morning exercise with 10 minutes of Sun Salutations. 5-1 second holds in position. In second half I paid more attention to precision and positioned hands precisely with index fingers pointing in front while palms are on the ground. It changes a lot I must say, my whole left hand feels like tortured as its not used for this. Interesting.
Then I was 10 minutes dancing. Not much to write about it, it was mainly for health and it was great. Dancing these days on electro swing mixes on youtube and its good music for dancing like this :)
II) In the morning and afternoon I had clients and I was happy about it, man and woman so again nice balance in male/female energy. And I also felt I can really be helpful for those clients as guidance in theyr lives. Its good to feel that my work is worth something for other people.
Else I did nothing significant. I felt great this morning exercise, because I felt fresh wind into exercising and felt this excitement Im missing lately. Also work helped a lot. I hope to get from this winter-slumber mood soon, its half-dead state and I dont want to live just on half. So it was nice today. Ohm mani padme hum.
čtvrtek 5. prosince 2013
4.12.2013 - another working day :)
?? Weight. I did not weight myself today, I was in very resistance mood today morning. In resistance to anything and everything, but I did at least a bit of morning exercises to get together a bit.
I) Starting with 10 minutes of new way SS. It was so hard to keep going whole 10 minutes. Only that great feeling in the body made me to do it whole. This feels of stretching and moving stiff parts and so. But my mind just keep blabbering and dragging me away. But I stood till the end, which was great.
Then I was just dancing for 10 minutes. It was hard to make it even it was only 10 minutes. Could not enjoy it really, but it was important to do this, I need this as well.
II) I had couple of clients today and it was great, man and woman.. like when its like this :) I also like to have more clients in one day, it makes my work stronger all together.
Else I did not did much, I needed a lot of rest during the day, to compensate night where I could not sleep out. I felt it good this way. I know I might be off track totally ATM, but its how it is right now. Maybe I just need in this time of year something else to start again fresh later. I dont know. I feel like any pushing makes me harm or feels bad.
Anyway, Ohm mani padme hum.
I) Starting with 10 minutes of new way SS. It was so hard to keep going whole 10 minutes. Only that great feeling in the body made me to do it whole. This feels of stretching and moving stiff parts and so. But my mind just keep blabbering and dragging me away. But I stood till the end, which was great.
Then I was just dancing for 10 minutes. It was hard to make it even it was only 10 minutes. Could not enjoy it really, but it was important to do this, I need this as well.
II) I had couple of clients today and it was great, man and woman.. like when its like this :) I also like to have more clients in one day, it makes my work stronger all together.
Else I did not did much, I needed a lot of rest during the day, to compensate night where I could not sleep out. I felt it good this way. I know I might be off track totally ATM, but its how it is right now. Maybe I just need in this time of year something else to start again fresh later. I dont know. I feel like any pushing makes me harm or feels bad.
Anyway, Ohm mani padme hum.
pondělí 2. prosince 2013
3.12.2013 - again in work
81,8kg " + " yeah, lets see tomorrow.
I slept well and dreamless tonight and in the morning up for morning exercises.
I) Starting with 15 minutes of Sun Salutations, first few fast old way ones and then descending in holds from 5-1 second with new way SS. And afetr that dynamic reps till alarm rung. Good way how to start a day and I must say I felt so nicely whole body, it was pleasant, been some time since I felt my body so nice. And I could also exercise fully without any pains in back.
Then I did ABS and core practices for 10 minutes. It wasnt easy at all, seems my ABS got lot week. And there is only one way to awake my ABS again - heavy exercises. And so I did, as I could, combination of dynamic and static exercises how it come and was possible. On the edge as much as possible.
Last about 20 minutes I was dancing. Today it went moderately, some parts smooth, some harder, sometimes fluent, sometimes I could not find the way into music at all. Some parts crazy-style, some parts focused on legs, or hips. Simply mix of all.
I was mainly happy to do full set of morning exercise, its important to see that I can do it and even enjoy it at times.
II) Later in the morning I had a client, it was good to work again. I should have had more clients, but one simply forgot to come... it happens sometimes, nothing I can do about it, but send announcement SMS or something.
Good day today, I had time to rest and work and so to somehow get together after weekend. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept well and dreamless tonight and in the morning up for morning exercises.
I) Starting with 15 minutes of Sun Salutations, first few fast old way ones and then descending in holds from 5-1 second with new way SS. And afetr that dynamic reps till alarm rung. Good way how to start a day and I must say I felt so nicely whole body, it was pleasant, been some time since I felt my body so nice. And I could also exercise fully without any pains in back.
Then I did ABS and core practices for 10 minutes. It wasnt easy at all, seems my ABS got lot week. And there is only one way to awake my ABS again - heavy exercises. And so I did, as I could, combination of dynamic and static exercises how it come and was possible. On the edge as much as possible.
Last about 20 minutes I was dancing. Today it went moderately, some parts smooth, some harder, sometimes fluent, sometimes I could not find the way into music at all. Some parts crazy-style, some parts focused on legs, or hips. Simply mix of all.
I was mainly happy to do full set of morning exercise, its important to see that I can do it and even enjoy it at times.
II) Later in the morning I had a client, it was good to work again. I should have had more clients, but one simply forgot to come... it happens sometimes, nothing I can do about it, but send announcement SMS or something.
Good day today, I had time to rest and work and so to somehow get together after weekend. Ohm mani padme hum.
2.12.2013 - heavy
81,1kg " = " 3rd day in a row same, seems I eat good here :)
I slept quite well tonight and in the morning I had VERY juicy dream about having 3some with my beloved and other woman in whorehouse where boss gave free day to all "employees", this atmosphere of totally free whorehouse and 3some with my beloved was sooo nice and hot. Pity I got woken up before something more interesting then kissing happen, but it was anyway so cozy, juicy and hot that I simply could not do morning exercises! This jump from lovemaking to heavy exercises was too strong even to imagine to get up and exercise. But I think it was purpose of the dream - to keep me from doing full exercises.
I) However after some time and nice morning I did at least mini 20 minutes exercises with 10 minutes Sun Salutations, which went possibly toughest ever, I was so stiff and hard in whole body that it took almost whole 10 minutes to wake up and do make body function. Then I was dancing for 10 minutes to move a bit more, it was not really smooth and juicy :P But it was for sure very good to do.
Today was very tough day, because we had strange interaction with my beloved with occasional arguments and disagreements, it wasnt brutal or something, I would say more soft, but what we dealt with went v.deep and I personally was so disconnected from myself and everything that I could not do anything, I was just surviving whole day till I had to leave back home. Which is of course shit, because this is wasted time, but I was unable to find a way from that shit.
I was traveling then which was long, but all went fine and smooth. Heavy day, cant see anything good from it, but it possibly just now, because Im too close to bad sides. Time will tell. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept quite well tonight and in the morning I had VERY juicy dream about having 3some with my beloved and other woman in whorehouse where boss gave free day to all "employees", this atmosphere of totally free whorehouse and 3some with my beloved was sooo nice and hot. Pity I got woken up before something more interesting then kissing happen, but it was anyway so cozy, juicy and hot that I simply could not do morning exercises! This jump from lovemaking to heavy exercises was too strong even to imagine to get up and exercise. But I think it was purpose of the dream - to keep me from doing full exercises.
I) However after some time and nice morning I did at least mini 20 minutes exercises with 10 minutes Sun Salutations, which went possibly toughest ever, I was so stiff and hard in whole body that it took almost whole 10 minutes to wake up and do make body function. Then I was dancing for 10 minutes to move a bit more, it was not really smooth and juicy :P But it was for sure very good to do.
Today was very tough day, because we had strange interaction with my beloved with occasional arguments and disagreements, it wasnt brutal or something, I would say more soft, but what we dealt with went v.deep and I personally was so disconnected from myself and everything that I could not do anything, I was just surviving whole day till I had to leave back home. Which is of course shit, because this is wasted time, but I was unable to find a way from that shit.
I was traveling then which was long, but all went fine and smooth. Heavy day, cant see anything good from it, but it possibly just now, because Im too close to bad sides. Time will tell. Ohm mani padme hum.
neděle 1. prosince 2013
1.12.2013 - music and familly day
81,1kg " == " Well, Im happy after yesterday Tiramisu feast :)
I slept v.well tonight, even had dream in the morning, about singing, one friend taught me throat singing and I was very good in it and sang v.powerful, it felt really amazing in that dream. Nice. And in the morning hurray for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with 10 minutes of Sun Salutaitons with holds from 5-1 second. I must say I felt my back is not still fine. Or to be more specific - it was fine, but I think I gave it too less rest and time to heal and I felt it today and could not do Bhujangasana. But its fine, I gave respect to my amazing body and took it easy in Cobra part. It was great to do it tho, its really very charging and straightening exercise.
Then I did 10 minutes of ABS and core exercise. I must confess tho, that I could do v.little. I let myself to be demotivated from talk before exercises and since ABS and core is connected to hara I had very hard times to find power to properly exercise. Well I did what I could and I felt it very rich not the less. Good lesson. I would really love to finally have strong enough borders to choose myself if I switch mood or not. But its the path.
Then I was biking on stationary bike for 10 minutes. This went good, my legs somehow seems to be in good condition and I did 4 minutes on hard mode today. Biking is more demanding on focus then one would say.
Last about 15 minutes I was dancing, it wasnt easy because of my mood, but I tried at least to use this time good and move my body and dance everything what is not serving me away.
Rest of the day way in the name of cooking and baking, Christmas is near and so are baking duties :) Afternoon I was plagued by crazy tiredness, it was so strong that I simply could not do anything, but sleep and rest. now I got up to wrote blog and lets see what the day brings.
During the day I was playing on flute from the book of Christmas and other festivals songs and when I aproached something girls knew to sing they joined, it was sooo beautiful energy in that moment when tey joined flute... I got goose bumps how strong it was, nice.
Nice day today, ohm mani padme hum.
I slept v.well tonight, even had dream in the morning, about singing, one friend taught me throat singing and I was very good in it and sang v.powerful, it felt really amazing in that dream. Nice. And in the morning hurray for morning exercise.
I) Starting today with 10 minutes of Sun Salutaitons with holds from 5-1 second. I must say I felt my back is not still fine. Or to be more specific - it was fine, but I think I gave it too less rest and time to heal and I felt it today and could not do Bhujangasana. But its fine, I gave respect to my amazing body and took it easy in Cobra part. It was great to do it tho, its really very charging and straightening exercise.
Then I did 10 minutes of ABS and core exercise. I must confess tho, that I could do v.little. I let myself to be demotivated from talk before exercises and since ABS and core is connected to hara I had very hard times to find power to properly exercise. Well I did what I could and I felt it very rich not the less. Good lesson. I would really love to finally have strong enough borders to choose myself if I switch mood or not. But its the path.
Then I was biking on stationary bike for 10 minutes. This went good, my legs somehow seems to be in good condition and I did 4 minutes on hard mode today. Biking is more demanding on focus then one would say.
Last about 15 minutes I was dancing, it wasnt easy because of my mood, but I tried at least to use this time good and move my body and dance everything what is not serving me away.
Rest of the day way in the name of cooking and baking, Christmas is near and so are baking duties :) Afternoon I was plagued by crazy tiredness, it was so strong that I simply could not do anything, but sleep and rest. now I got up to wrote blog and lets see what the day brings.
During the day I was playing on flute from the book of Christmas and other festivals songs and when I aproached something girls knew to sing they joined, it was sooo beautiful energy in that moment when tey joined flute... I got goose bumps how strong it was, nice.
Nice day today, ohm mani padme hum.
30.11.2013 - cooking and being
81,1kg " -- " Big surprise, unexpected, but lets see tomorrow :)
Else I slept well and good, but I felt like I would sleep much more hours if it wouldnt be silly. I dont feel happy about how much I need to sleep and rest when Im with my beloved, I would like to spend time with her instead of resting, but im like knocked to the head... I could not even do morning exercises in the morning.
I) But I did at least 20 minut mini-version. First 10 minutes of new way Sun Salutations, which was very great, difference between on start and in the end was like if I would got whole new body in those 10 minutes. And then I did 10 minutes of dancing, which also brought some new energy into whole system.
II) Rest of the day was much like yesterday, exept I learned how to make AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING Tiramisu. Its so simple, yet soooo delicious. Only disadvantage is, that I need to leave it at least 6 hours in fridge before eating it in crazy rampage mode. That was big thing today :)
Else it was quite challenging day, me and my beloved were dealing with quite heavy topic and its not never easy, but its of course v.important. Anyway we went sleep in v.loving mood. Thats what I really love on our relationship - that we are going through hard stuff, but our mutual love always retun us together. Ohm mani padme hum.
Else I slept well and good, but I felt like I would sleep much more hours if it wouldnt be silly. I dont feel happy about how much I need to sleep and rest when Im with my beloved, I would like to spend time with her instead of resting, but im like knocked to the head... I could not even do morning exercises in the morning.
I) But I did at least 20 minut mini-version. First 10 minutes of new way Sun Salutations, which was very great, difference between on start and in the end was like if I would got whole new body in those 10 minutes. And then I did 10 minutes of dancing, which also brought some new energy into whole system.
II) Rest of the day was much like yesterday, exept I learned how to make AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING Tiramisu. Its so simple, yet soooo delicious. Only disadvantage is, that I need to leave it at least 6 hours in fridge before eating it in crazy rampage mode. That was big thing today :)
Else it was quite challenging day, me and my beloved were dealing with quite heavy topic and its not never easy, but its of course v.important. Anyway we went sleep in v.loving mood. Thats what I really love on our relationship - that we are going through hard stuff, but our mutual love always retun us together. Ohm mani padme hum.
29.11.2013 - mutual healing
?? Weight.
I slept well and looong today, like 12 hours. But I though it could be like that, when Im at home its v.difficult for me to rest and here its possible. Not because I dont have duties, but its simply much more nicer with my beloved by my side :) Its pity, that I lost time with her, but on other side, I feel it so precious and healing to rest with her. Of course we just dont rest, we enjoy us together and talk what met us in the time we did not met and so on.
I did no morning exercises in classical sense, but I sure did move my body in the morning :)
I) Afternoon I had a client, again a bit challenging one, because of special conditions. But thats whats keep my work interesting - chalenges :)
And that was whole day like this, we made walk as well and were cooking, resting, watching Shortbus movie and in general enjoying day with us only.
On this point I have to mention Shortbus movie - its so amazing movie, I feel so like at home while watching it, I know its juts a movie and there probably nowhere is place like that, but its so to imagine to be at such a place.... wonderful.
And that was is for today! We had also to deal with some not easy stuff, but in general, it was nice day. Ohm mani padme hum.
I slept well and looong today, like 12 hours. But I though it could be like that, when Im at home its v.difficult for me to rest and here its possible. Not because I dont have duties, but its simply much more nicer with my beloved by my side :) Its pity, that I lost time with her, but on other side, I feel it so precious and healing to rest with her. Of course we just dont rest, we enjoy us together and talk what met us in the time we did not met and so on.
I did no morning exercises in classical sense, but I sure did move my body in the morning :)
I) Afternoon I had a client, again a bit challenging one, because of special conditions. But thats whats keep my work interesting - chalenges :)
And that was whole day like this, we made walk as well and were cooking, resting, watching Shortbus movie and in general enjoying day with us only.
On this point I have to mention Shortbus movie - its so amazing movie, I feel so like at home while watching it, I know its juts a movie and there probably nowhere is place like that, but its so to imagine to be at such a place.... wonderful.
And that was is for today! We had also to deal with some not easy stuff, but in general, it was nice day. Ohm mani padme hum.
Přihlásit se k odběru:
Příspěvky (Atom)