83,3kg " - " - oh god, finally it moves bellow 84 again. It made me really happy, though Im stuck on and over 84 4ever.
Else I slept deep and hard tonight, dont remember any dreams. When I sleep this deep after trainings, I usually dont dream. Its not always like this, but often. And in the morning straight for morning exercises.
I) Starting today with 10 minutes of sun salutations, holds from 5-3 seconds, did not made more, my body was quite painful from yesterday. Even sides of latisimus dorsi, which usually pain after boxer-like training, makes me really wonder... but anyway, it was very necessary to do and good to make my body work again.
Then I did 5 minutes of Burpees. I tried to push and made it to full 40, alarm rung short after finishing 40th rep. Its on a good way. Its great to feel that crisis and struggle comes every day I do Burpees later and later. Next 5 minutes I spend with squats, first 50 normal deep ones and then about 25 half squats with short hold in lowest position. Need to give love to my legs as well, it went a bit worst then I would wish, but... you know... thats why I do it!
4th block was core and ABS training, first 4 rounds of TM core WO.. it was crazy after previous stuff, but I did it well. And I even could do more other exercises, which felt good. Just random mix of what I could and felt important to do, still trying to have strong focus on good back shape and position to not harm myself. It was very rich.
Last block I was dancing fro about 15 minutes. It was great really, had lots of fun with it today.
In extra exercises I could not do much, yesterday somehow destroyed me good, so I started with new way to improve my pushup rate, today did maximum (17 reps) and for next 7 days (even when I will not make morning exercise) will do just 10, for other week then every day 1 more and then again try maximum if it change. maybe it seems slow, but Im stuck in my pushups even in best shape on 30 and its simply not enough for me (think I had record 35 or something once, still nto good enough for me).
II) Then I went to visit my parents. Oh well, I wont write details, but it was very hard test and I failed. And it took only 20 minutes before I just turned back and went back home (its 2hrs travel). Nobody can make me so crazy so fast. I cant handle this. And Im not sure if I want. I really love my parents, but it dosnt mean I let them put me down all the time. I can love them without being in contact with them too. But I would like to not get it so strong under my skin. I would love to learn to just let that shit go through me and not making me crazy.
It was hard for me. I spend then big part of afternoon in pain because of my relationship with parents. Oh god, how I would love to take this easy and just accept it as it is. But I cant. I must look what makes me so crazy, I dont want this shit in my life.
III) In the evening I did 1 hour dancing session. I needed to get tired and to dance all stuck feelings and energy in body. Fortunately random mix gave me 2 songs from Venetian Snares and its really hard to stay in any concepts while dancing on this music :) I love VS so much, not as much as my beloved, but very much :) It was great 1 hour, I could dance quite free and also play with movement and body. Nice.
Crazy day today, finished also work with Vinils and Im grateful to my beloved for big support she gave me today. I know this day is very precious, I realized lots of things today. Ohm mani padme hum.
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