? W. I slept well tonight, wanted to sleep out, but woke up at 6 anyway. With this beautiful sun is not easy to sleep out :) I think I had dreams, but dont remember anything.
Today I took day off. I feel I really need rest. Tomorrow again starting working week and need to ground and get to myself today.
Its not so easy, after last 2 full weeks of meetings and people with whom I share deep love Im alone and no meeting from several I tried to make worked out. Its beautiful day, but I dont see myself going outside either. I was just working a bit on vinils and watched 8 femme movie. Lets see what the rest of the day brings.
...tbc!
Notes: pushups11th day +4 = 22x (but did 23).
I spend whole day more or less doing nothing, but in the evening I had impulse to go to shopping mall, to cruise between goods and such. Im not so happy about that, but I found something comforting in cruising like this, looking what I need at home. I have always something what I want to buy for ages and as usually I found some of these this time as well. I also bought nutela-like jar... for first time in my life. It felt somehow liberating so much, I know its so mundane and simple stuff, but I felt it like if I would do something what I was longing for whole life and now I could do it as I want, as much I want and how I want, nobody telling me how much or when to take.I was so surprised by these feelings, I did not expected it at all, but it felt simply great. I felt something really changed in me, I let myself to BE ALLOWED. And yeah Im feeling more bold in doing what I want, I hear less voices in my head telling me "you cant because...".
I was also today watching new Lars von Tier movie Nymphomaniac (both volumes) and it fitted into this process very very much... amazing, strong, deep movie btw, loved it, whole 3:45 :)
V.interesting day today. My beloved gave me so much support in today processes, Im so incredibly grateful for being close with such amazing woman and human being. Ohm mani padme hum.
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